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Archive for January, 2018

ashokbhatia

What do we do when the raw excitements and vicissitudes of a managerial career sap our energy and excitement of life? With impossible deadlines looming large, a key team member suddenly disappearing on a furlough and the better half turning into a bitter half because of our indifference to attending the Parent Teacher Meeting in the kid’s school, we are just left gasping for some fresh air.

What could possibly perk us up on such a day? Browsing through the incisive and witty cartoons of someone like R K Laxman can surely help us to beat our blues. For decades, he has kept the sanity of our denizens intact by bringing us a daily dose of the travails of the ‘Common Man’. He has also produced some of the best management cartoons with messages for employees, CEOs and business owners alike.

There is a tongue-in-cheek quality in his cartoons which…

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Pondicherry offers spiritual spots where you can meditate,

Also, watering holes which make your spirits levitate;

Pondicherry beckons you several times in a year,

So you may know something about wines and beer;

 

A unique bliss, a strong kick, soaring high,

Once you relish some Scotch and rye;

In a metro, as a hassled techie, you face a lot of strife,

Here, a whiskey and soda may restore your belief in life;

 

Problems on the job could have given you the blues,

Some tissue restoratives down the hatch may offer some clues;

A recent break up could have dampened your spirits,

A spirit-soaked sojourn may help to forget the nasty bits;

 

A lime daiquiri could help you to celebrate a success better,

Unless your credit card is blocked, says your bank’s letter;

Peaceful and responsible boozers this city does not mind,

Sozzling up guests running away from their daily grind;

 

Your sorrows in vodka and champagne you may drown,

But speeding on the beach road attracts a policeman’s frown;

Mixing driving with drinking is surely a sin,

Cruise along without the aid of any rum and gin;

 

If you misbehave with females post your spirited binge,

Hearing of unpleasant consequences may make you cringe;

If the idea is to discover that a Margarita is not a wine,

There is not much fun in attracting a fine;

 

Creating a public nuisance is just not done,

Unless you want others to think you had many more than one;

Sleepy bovines lumbering along on streets may not utter a cry,

But they follow Gandhian ideas and are strictly dry;

 

Dogs chasing you may sound pickled in rum,

But sinless they live, expecting you to keep mum;

Cats crossing your way may look drowsy with a martini,

They might just neglect you, treating you like a genie;

 

Even if you come over with a juicy idea of simply doing nothing,

Lazing about after a couple of shots could be just your thing.

 

Forget your troubles, wipe away those tears,

When you come to Pondicherry, just say ‘Cheers’!

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ashokbhatia

PGWodehouseThe foundations of our civilization are quivering. Homo sapiens are faced with a medical crisis of gigantic proportions. There is widespread concern about the pace at which the epidemic of Wodehousitis is spreading across countries and continents. Medical researchers of all hues are twiddling their thumbs, trying to figure out a cure for this dreaded affliction.

Wodehousitis is reported to be a disease which affects all human beings, irrespective of their age, sex, cast, creed or ethnicity. It is said to be highly contagious. A word of mouth is all that is required to lead one to contract it. One merely borrows a work of P G Wodehouse. A cursory perusal of any part of a narrative follows. A lifetime of bondage ensues. Frequent purchases of his books gladden the hearts of many a publisher. When one is not able to lay one’s hands on a particular title, one’s moral…

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Often, your truly is asked about the contents of the book entitled ‘Surviving in the Corporate Jungle’.

The video clip here covers in brief some of the 110+ topics covered in the book.

Enjoy, and be a smarter and happier manager!

(Related Post:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2017/10/14/surviving-in-the-corporate-jungle-a-video)

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ashokbhatia

There are indeed times when we run into CEOs whose heads are screwed on just right. They are passionate about what they do. Their heart is in the right place, beating at a rhythm which matches that of the people and the environment. Their sense of ethics is in harmony with their value system which is governed by respect for the society at large. In terms of an upgraded Blake Mouton Grid, they can be spotted in the vicinity of the slot at 9,9,9.X Y Z upgraded

When it comes to achieving results, they do not pull their punches. Their bosses never cease to be amazed by their effectiveness and efficiency. The competition is in awe of many of them and cannot really be blamed for making repeated attempts to poach them. They do not live from one quarter to the next quarter. Their thinking is strategic. Their vision is far-sighted.

This is…

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The Honourable Secretary-General,

The United Nations,

New York City,

New York,

USA.

Respected Sir,

You may recall our brief interaction at the recent launch event of the International League of Happiness. You were then kind enough to spare a few moments of your precious time, graciously appreciating my talk there on preventing the misuse of Artificial Intelligence, just after releasing the Blandings Declaration of Happiness as a part of the proceedings.

As a concerned citizen of this planet of ours, allow me to offer my humble services for the cause of promoting international cooperation and maintaining international order.

Yours truly has an impeccable record in delivering satisfaction to all the employers one has been fortunate enough to assist so far in a long and spotless career. The aspiration hereafter is to offer my unique problem solving abilities for the benefit of all the denizens of this planet.

Permit me, sir, to present my credentials in brief:

Jeeves, Reginald, only son of the late Basil Jeeves, M. A., B. Ph., Oxford and London, and late Daisy Wiggins;

Family: Unmarried, no encumbrances;

Education: Privately;

Career graph:

Have been in service to the following:

  • Esmond Haddock, Deverill Hall, King’s Deverill;
  • Dame Daphne Winkworth, Picklerod Academy for Young Ladies;
  • Percival Craye, 3rd Earl of Worplesdon, Worpley Maltravers;
  • The Hon. Digby Thistleton, 1st Baron Bridgeworth, Mayfair;
  • Nigel Strickland Davenant Rokely Fox-Medlicott, 5th Baron Brancaster Tittleridge;
  • Lord Frederick Ranelagh, Monte Carlo;
  • Montegue Todd;
  • Bertram Wilberforce Wooster (later 8th Earl of Yaxley), Mayfair (later Wooster Castle);
  • William Egerton Bamfylde Ossingham Belfry, 9th Earl of Rowcester, Rowcester Abbey.

Present occupation: Landlord, Angler’s Rest.

Specially appreciated for: Problem solving based on the psychology of the individuals concerned (even if it amounts to breaking a few eggs to make an omelet), Whipping up concoctions which could lift the sagging spirits of my lords and masters, Facilitating the creation of a positive image of even those who might otherwise be considered mentally negligible, Enabling harmony between disharmonious members of any group, Quick grasp of tricky situations and providing satisfaction to all stakeholders, Communication, Literary and scientific knowledge, Game Theory, Estate management and Sartorial matters.

Career objective:

  • To deliver satisfaction to the needy in all parts of the world; to utilize my unique skills in assisting you in the mighty task of promoting international cooperation and maintaining international order;
  • Open to being adviser to a head of state, preferably that of either a developed country or an emerging economy, on matters of international relations, sartorial protocol, management of coalition partners and parliamentary affairs.

General information:

Appeared in two films, Little Lord Fauntleroy and The Vampire of Vitriola, (Perfecto Zizzbaum);

Life member Junior Ganymede Club;

Honorary Deputy Secretary General, International League of Happiness;

Address: Angler’s Rest, Market Blandings, Wooster Estate, UK.

Testimonials and References:

Shall be happy to provide the same, as and when directed to do so.

To the best of my knowledge and belief, the esteemed organization under your wings faces mighty challenges in our turbulent times: Nuclear perils, terrorism, conflict resolution, continued violation of humanitarian laws, climate change, rise of protectionism, unemployment, income and wealth disparities, cyberspace warfare, and the like.

My humble skills have so far got utilized only by the rich and the lazy. Going ahead, it shall be my endeavour to assist someone of your stature in resolving problems which afflict humanity in general.

My advance gratitude for your kind attention and time,

Yours faithfully,

Reginald Jeeves

(Note: Personal and career details of Jeeves courtesy  Jeeves: A Gentleman’s Personal Gentleman’ (ISBN 0-312-44144-4), a book by C. Northcote Parkinson.)

(Related Posts: 

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2017/12/13/a-brand-called-jeeves

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2017/10/12/an-invitation-from-the-international-league-of-happiness)

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ashokbhatia

Amongst the kinds of CEOs we have reviewed so far elsewhere, this kind happens to belong to a very rare species in the private sector. However, many public sector outfits, government departments and political outfits owing allegiance to some outdated doctrines could boast of a significant number of CEOs of this genre.

Concern for Output or for results is not their priority. Concern for People is their primary concern. Concern for Ethics is also uppermost in their minds. In terms of an upgraded Blake Mouton Grid, they rank at 1,9,9.X Y Z upgraded

Trade unions of all hues simply love them. Managements dread and despise them. To face an ardent believer who pounds his fists onto teak wood tables of conference rooms and demands strict compliance with labour and industrial laws of all kinds is a prospect which owners bestowed with nerves of chilled steel wish to avoid.

Those who happen to have…

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