My dear Blogger,
I think you have a magnificent blog. I just happen to be one of your followers. Allow me to share my plight with you.
De-mystifying my fickleness
To you, I sound fickle-minded. You work hard on creating a marvelous piece that you post. The absence of response is maddening. You keep twiddling your thumbs, trying to figure out where the denizens of Blogosphere are. It is as if WW-III has broken out and all the followers have gone underground, scurrying for safety. At times, you create something in a jiffy, and lo and behold, you are flooded with likes and comments!
For me, the recipient of all your creative outpourings, yours is just one of the several other blogs I follow. Then there is so much else to be read on the world-wide-web we have spun around ourselves. Please understand that I have the unenviable task of sifting through hundreds of other platforms and blog posts. I might just end up missing your latest post. I may simply lack the time, the will-power or the perseverance to locate the very post you are keen I should look at. Breathe easy. Relax. Give yourself some time.
Of Moore’s Law and sky-diving Attention Spans
You see, the job of keeping a track of what is happening on social media becomes tougher every day. Earlier, I had to undertake an elaborate ritual to kick-start my PC and then see what was up. These days, even while traveling in a ramshackle bus, I merrily continue to check the latest updates. Now, when the smart woman sitting next to me flashed her eyelids and tries to catch up on her updates, I am bound to get distracted, right? Can you then really blame me for missing out on your post, howsoever juicy it might be?
Surely, you have heard of Moore’s Law? As predicted, the transistors per square inch of the ICs used in our gizmos keep going up. Screen sizes keep shrinking. Our attention spans keep sky-diving.
Allow me to propose an AKB’s Law on Attention Spans, which would postulate that ‘The Attention Spans of netizens are directly proportional to the screen size of the gizmo in use, the quality and the topicality of the content, as also its presentation.’ The smaller the screens, the shorter the attention spans. The smarter the content, the longer the attention span. More glitzy the presentation, better the attention it attracts.
If you are in the eye-ball grabbing rat race, aiming at a mass following, you have to keep coming up with zanier and wackier headlines. You can cover topics which are either controversial or of current interest. Press and media professionals do it all the time. But if your posts happen to provide a fresh perspective on issues of global interest, and if you are content with a smaller and more devoted group of followers, you could still catch my attention somehow.
The obligation of providing instant gratification
You already know that blogging is more like a marathon and not a sprint. When you have published something new straight from the oven, please do not expect me to rush to my IT contraption, all agog in excitement, quivering in keen anticipation, and post either a ‘like’ or a ‘comment’ right away. I could be busy with my own life. Even if my eyes are glued to a screen of sorts at the time, I could be deep into something else. Give me some space.
At the end of each tiring day, as I sit bleary-eyed in front of my laptop, the least I want to read about is one of your raves and rants about the several ills plaguing our society. Or, a personal problem you happen to facing. You see, I am already suffering an overdose of negativity around me. Nor do I expect to read about how your day went. Life happens to me as well and I know the pressures of a typical day in one’s life.
Yes, if you have something to say which could be of some use to me, I might glance at it. For example, if your boy/girl friend has just decided to dump you, you have my deepest sympathies. But I might not be interested in the not-so-juicy details of the break-up. Yes, if you have tips on how to be successful in getting my wife to walk out of my life, I would lap up your post much like a hungry cat would devour a hapless creature of the piscine kind.
The great sermon handicap
I detest sermonizing on your part. As a kid, I had to put up with this charade at the hands of my parents. As a student, my teachers took it upon themselves to mould me right; they simply ended up reducing my self-confidence to pulp. Once I tied the knot, my spouse took up the task of reforming me. Born optimist that she is, her sincere endeavours continue unabated till this day. On the job, several of my bosses continue to do it with unfailing regularity and severity. Of late, to my chagrin, even my children have started making such attempts. Living up to some lofty ideals held sacrosanct by those who profess to love me has left my soul in torment. Please do not add to this discomfiture of mine.
Yes, if you have learnt something new from an experience of your own, I am game. For example, your internet connection has been playing truant and you have discovered a deity which specializes in setting it right. I look forward to learn from you the special invocation which you find to be effective. Let us say your spouse has been bed-ridden and you have suddenly found a website which sends you a maid at a very short notice. I would surely like to try it out. Or, you have just found a new trick of convincing your boss to let you have a day off. I would be delighted to know. You could have discovered a way of having your morning cup of tea while reading your newspaper peacefully, without being disrupted by a nagging spouse. Please, oh please, do share it with the denizens of Blogosphere. Like me, all permanent members of the Harassed Husbands’ Association would bless you no end.
Not looking for a fly-by-night wordsmith
Try to be regular, will you? If you get erratic in posting your ideas and thoughts, I might just lose track. If you are a regular, I shall love to watch your progress with considerable interest. We may even become blog-buddies, exchanging ideas and what not. If your ego is sublimated, I could even think of giving you some tips. If you are feeling down in the dumps, I could perhaps cheer you up. I could be your sounding board for ideas for simmering within you for future posts.
The long and short of it
When you start composing your outpourings, you find yourself unable to stop. You go on and on. Please have a pity on me. With continuous exposure to screens of all kinds, my eyesight is already failing. Also, I have limited time at my disposal. Please come up with pieces which are short, sweet and to-the-point. If your post is a long one, let it be. In that case, just ensure that I am able to grasp the likely nature of the contents within the first two paragraphs of your post. Or, group your paragraphs and provide sub-headings.
Another thing that puts me off
Often, I take some precious time off and exercise my grey cells to write a comment. But you do not bother to either acknowledge or respond within a reasonable period of time. If you are too busy to do so, you are welcome to remain in your ivory tower. I would then simply exercise my democratic rights and ‘un-follow’ you.
Let the title not be a cross-word puzzle
Do please provide a heading which says it all. If you make it too tantalizing, I may simply get put off. If you make it too indirect, my pitiable IQ levels might just fail you. Please be aware that my idea of an exciting career is not to become an assistant to either Sherlock Holmes or Dr Watson.
The inner glow of happiness
When you post, you are happy for having expressed yourself to the world. Yes, words of praise and encouragement become the fuel which keeps you chugging along on all six cylinders. But try not to be over-dependent on me to provide this fuel to you on a regular basis.
I am in Blogosphere merely to relax, to get amused, to derive some inspiration, to be entertained and, at times, to get educated. To learn something new. To discover new vistas. Help me in any way you can in doing any of this, and you shall be suitably rewarded. Great many likes may come your way. Juicy comments would continue to flow in.
Hope some of this makes some sense to you. If it does not, pray do not fret. I am myself not someone who practices what I preach. The fact that this post itself has become much too long, exceeding 1,500 words in all, goes on to prove this, right?
Your Ardent Follower
(Inputs from a fellow blogger, Ms Lopamudra Mitra, are gratefully acknowledged)