The Romances of Bingo Little: Mabel

Waitresses and bar maids get a place of prominence in many of the Plum’s narratives. Here is Mabel who is one of the many who captivate the heart of Bingo Little for a brief period of time.

Plumtopia

Image adapted from original photograph by Kim Traynor

I confess I have a soft spot for the romantic Bingo Little. When we first meet him in The Inimitable Jeeves,  Bertie warns us about his habit of falling in love.

Ever since I have known him – and we were at school together – he has been perpetually falling in love with someone, generally in the spring, which seems to act on him like magic. At school he had the finest collection of actresses’ photographs of anyone of his time; and at Oxford his romantic nature was a byword.

The first of Bingo’s romances to be chronicled by Bertram Wooster involves a Mabel, a waitress in a tea-and-bun shop. Described by Bertie as ‘rather a pretty girl’, Mabel attracts the attention of both Bingo and Jeeves. At the end of the proceedings, she and Jeeves have ‘an understanding’.

We know very little…

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Advertising (PUBLICIDADE)

As a Chief Executive Officer, if you hire lions like Pablo Picasso or MF Hussain to create a corporate emblem for your company, would there be any point in getting a bunch of giraffe Vice Presidents and General Managers to meddle with his final work? Define a target and a budget, and let the agency have a free hand.

As a trainee cub, join an ad agency if you love irregular working hours, midnight escapades and hobnobbing with the hoi polloi of creative geniuses whose king (or, queen) size egos need to be managed at all times, with clients’ deadlines looming large over your work horizon. Depending on your skill set, you may gravitate towards copywriting, production, media planning, or client servicing. In all cases, creativity under pressure should be the motto of your life.

(An excerpt from the book ‘Surviving in the Corporate Jungle’, published in Portuguese recently)

Se fosse um diretor-geral, e contratasse um leão da estirpe do Pablo Picasso ou do Andy Warhol para criar a imagem da sua empresa, faria algum sentido ter uma manada de girafas vice-presidentes e quadros intermédios a meterem o bedelho no trabalho final dele? Defina um objetivo e um orçamento e deixe a agência fazer o seu trabalho à vontade.

Enquanto ‘cria’ estagiária, vá para uma agência de publicidade se adora ter um horário de trabalho irregular, ficar no escritório até altas horas e misturar-se com uma turba de génios criativos cujos egos gigantescos têm de ser constantemente bajulados, e com os prazos dos clientes a ensombrarem ameaçadoramente o seu horizonte de trabalho. Consoante as suas competências, poderá optar pelo departamento criativo, de produção, de planeamento de media ou de gestão de clientes. Seja como for, a criatividade
sob pressão será o seu lema de vida.

(This is where you can lay your hands on the book:

http://livraria.vidaeconomica.pt/gestao/1493-como-sobreviver-na-selva-empresarial-guia-pratico-9789897681868.html)

(Related Post:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/02/26/the-book-como-sobreviver-na-selva-empresarial-guia-pratico)

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The Bard and some Bollywood movies

One of the reasons for the persistent allure of Shakespeare’s works is obviously the depth as well as the range of human behaviour these capture. One can easily relate to such elements as greed, power, jealousy, suspicion, love and lust which form the undercurrent of all his characters.

These are precisely the ingredients which producers, directors and script writers in Bollywood bank upon to whip up larger than life narratives, keeping the viewers enamoured and enthralled.

If a movie is said to be either ‘inspired by’ or ‘adopted from’ a literary classic, the intellectual coves are left more than satisfied. The critics could anyway pan the movie for its digressions from the original, but the common man is quite happy to have connected with a classic which he might otherwise never have the time, inclination or capacity of devouring in his saner moments.

A dash of spicy item numbers further adds to the mass appeal of such a movie. The ‘Masala Quotient’ for the front benchers also improves drastically.

It comes therefore as no surprise that Bollywood can boast of a number of screen adaptations of the Bard’s works. Here are a few which readily spring to one’s mind.

The Comedy of Errors

The tale of two sets of twins has invariably left the audience in splits.

If ‘Do Dooni Chaar’ had the Kishore Kumar-Asit Sen duo, ‘Angoor’ had Sanjeev Kumar- Deven Verma, ably assisted by Moushumi Chatterjee, Deepti Naval and Aruna Irani. Both are ageless comedies.   (A still from the movie ‘Do Dooni Chaar, Year: 1968, Director: Debu Sen)

(1982, Gulzar)

Othello

When the cancer of distrust and suspicion spreads, disaster looms ahead.

If ‘Hamraaz’ had a stage performance based on the travails of Othello, ‘Omkara’ brought home the anguish of the hero in a poignant manner.

(1967, B R Chopra)

(2006, Vishal Bhardwaj)

Romeo and Juliet

The tale of star-crossed lovers has been used by Bollywood in a number of its offerings. ‘Do Badan’, ‘Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak’, ‘Ek Duje Ke Liye’, ‘Goliyon Ki Leela – Raas Leela’ and ‘Ishaqzaade’ can be said to be based on the Bard’s eternal love classic.

(1966, Raj Khosla)

(1988, Mansoor Khan)

(1981, K Balachander)

(2012, Habib Faisal)

(2013, Sanjay Leela Bhansali)

In tune with the changing times, the last two were rather graphic in their depiction of the heat of desire, an aberration which only made them stray even farther from the original theme.

Macbeth

‘Maqbool’ had finely etched performances by the likes of Tabu, Pankaj Kapur and Irrfan Khan. A dark offering against the backdrop of a Mafia gang, it left the viewer struck with its audacity and the departures from the original work.

(2003, Vishal Bhardwaj)

Hamlet

‘Haider’ had all the elements of the original – intrigue, ambition, retribution and an amorous love affair to boot.

(2014, Vishal Bhardwaj)

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

’10 ml Love’ came enchantingly close to the original, but did not have the depth of the original.

(2010, Sharat Katariya)

Most of these movies had the necessary ingredients for commercial success – exotic locales, lavish sets and costumes, outlandish exaggeration and intense passion. Opposites co-existed in many of these movies. Comedy often walked hand in hand with tragedy, poetic language got intermeshed with coarse slang, and middle class morality and values were juxtaposed with unabashed display of physical desire.

A timeless appeal

It would be too simplistic to say that the poet is merely a vestige of India’s colonial past. Much like Thomas Hardy, Jane Austen, P G Wodehouse, Agatha Christie and many others, the multi-layered characters etched out by him touch a chord somewhere deep within the psyche of Indian movie buffs of all hues, sizes and shapes.

It is this mass appeal which makes the Bard a source of inspiration for many a scriptwriter in Bollywood. His works depict the essential traits of human beings and shall forever continue to regale movie goers all over the world.

(If you liked this post, there is a chance you may like these as well:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/03/06/some-bollywood-movies-with-a-dash-of-wodehousian-humour

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/12/30/fifty-years-and-three-classics)

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The travails of a Non Resident Pondicherryite

A place grows on us. It offers a comfort zone which we get used to. We might dislike the place for so many things. But when we are away for some time, the gravitational pull again comes into play. We start missing the place.

Lakshmi

Pondicherry is no exception to this general rule. While here, we might bemoan the lack of civic sense, the streets littered with garbage, the reckless driving on the roads and the absence of adequate parking space in the town area. But take us away for some time, and we start missing it somehow. We yearn to get back to the humidity and the heat of the place.

What is so hot and happening about this quaint little town, perched on the Bay of Bengal, you may well ask.

Consider the following.

A small group of close friends

This is what makes Pondicherry so very special. Friends who are helpful. Friends who are there when you need them. Friends who have helped us make Pondicherry a home, far away from one’s roots. Friends who offer constructive criticism. One may not speak to them or see them for quite some time. But the underground cable connections remain in place.

For a nature lover

The restless waves of the Bay of Bengal somehow sweep away all that bothers one on any particular day. Watching an early morning sunrise is an uplifting experience. Mental peace reigns.

A unique experience is that of watching a golden-hued moon rising out of the horizon a day or so after any full moon day. As it slowly changes its colour from a pale yellow to a light blue and then to its customary bright silver, the shimmering waves below keep dancing in tandem. One simply marvels at the beauty of nature on offer in Pondicherry.

For a pseudo-literary buff

For pseudo-literary buffs like me, it is a cerebral delight to attend book launches which happen at regular intervals. Perhaps inspired by the literary geniuses who made Pondicherry their abode in the not so distant past, authors of all hues and genres make it a point to include the place in their launch itinerary.

Home grown authors are never in short supply, ready to fling their latest works at an unsuspecting audience. Tamil, French and English books keep popping up at regular intervals.

Even yours truly has gone ahead and published a book in Portugal, and is pretty happy about the fact that he is spared the trauma of having to read his own work in Portuguese, a language he does not understand himself!

Food for the soul

For a music-appreciating person like me, a flute recital by Hari Prasad Chaurasia, or a santoor recital by Shiv Kumar Sharma, is as uplifting and purifying as a vocal concert by Kalapini Komalini.

Even though national celebrities happen to be in Pondicherry only once in a blue moon, the soft glow of inner happiness lingers on for many more years to come.

For an art lover 

Art galleries like Aurodhan and Tasmai keep the place alive and happening. Dance performances of all genres keep me hooked to the place. When it comes to theatre, institutions like Aadishakti add their own charm to the place. Auroville has eclectic performances scheduled almost every week. Screening of offbeat movies is a routine affair. Alliance Francaise also keeps organizing some exciting events.

Workshops on masks, outfits teaching Salsa and Zumba, Baul performances, folk dances – you name it and Pondicherry has it!

For the intellectual pigmy 

Talks of subject experts organized by the local chapter of Madras Management Association do stir up the manager within me, reigniting my entrepreneurial passion. Held once or twice a month, the talks are short, crisp and highly focused. Business strategies get discussed. Power dressing tips are offered. Management lessons from movies are put across. In short, lot of management wisdom gets shared by those who practice the art and science of management.

Improving my Spiritual Quotient

For someone who is trying to understand how businesses can be run based on sound values and ethics, listening to some charismatic speakers steeped in Sri Aurobindo’s thoughts often leaves one gasping for more. The content may be incomprehensible to someone like me, a novice in the realm of spirituality, but there is a possibility that the quest may bring about some enlightenment in due course of time.

The heartfulness program of Sri Ram Chandra Mission offers a simple way for the lay person to peep within.

Brahma Kumaris happen to be very active, as do so many other outfits of the spiritual kind.

Minimizing the Pumpkin Quotient

It is fun to work with like-minded teams and create events like workshops and seminars which allow stressed out managers to explore the spiritual dimensions of management. This way, they get an opportunity to sharpen their skills. I get rewarded in return by minimizing my own Pumpkin Quotient.

Frequent endeavours being made by such organizations as Sri Aurobindo Center for Advanced Research and Sri Aurobindo Foundation of Integral Management tend to increase the allure of Pondicherry.

Frequent guest lectures at academic institutions in the region also add to the gravitational pull of the place.

Keeping the body and soul together

1. For the best North Indian food in town, the place you can head to is Roma’s Kitchen in Auroville.
2. For vegetarian seekh kababs: Hotel Anandha Inn/Annamalai
3. For the least greasy samosas in town: Madhu Sweets, Mission Street.
4. For good tea (meaning not the milky tea we get to slurp otherwise): Sekar Snacks, a tiny joint right opposite Mithai Mandir.
5. For greasy Punjabi dishes: Punjabi Dhaba off Mission Street.
6. An eatery which transports you back to the ‘Life of Pi’ days: Indian Coffee House, Nehru Street.

Keeping alive and kicking

Howsoever oppressive the heat, a walk along the promenade leaves one feeling invigorated.

To a young-at-heart senior citizen like me, Pondicherry offers a wide array of ‘pathies’ to choose from. As a follower of allopathy, one just needs to brave the crowded corridors of JIPMER, to be able to avail of world-class medical advice. For a focused attention on dental blues, Mahatma Gandhi Postgraduate Institute of Dental Sciences comes to the rescue. Eye-related issues get readily addressed at either the School of Perfect Eyesight or the Aravind Eye Hospital.

For occasional forays into homeopathy, naturopathy, yoga and ayurveda, abundant choices are available. Acupuncture, acupressure and reflexology treatments are readily available. For spiritual healing, one just needs to walk in and meet a specialist.

Perhaps a day would soon come when a national level institute of Integral Medicine comes up here. My physical form will then not have to get compartmentalized into organs and ‘pathies’, but a holistic view will get taken of me as a whole being!

An accessible government

The upside of living in a small territory is that one could walk into any government office and meet smiling and helpful seniors. The problem gets heard. If it has merit, it also gets resolved as quickly as possible.

Experience of a unique kind

The kind of aggressive driving we get to experience in Pondicherry makes us fit to be able to drive any kind of vehicle in any part of the world. The dexterity required on the roads would make a circus stuntman squirm with shame. The kind of democracy on display on the roads could easily be packaged and marketed to train our wannabe politicians.

It is a unique experience which makes one feel as if all those rushing about on the roads are ardent functionaries eager to play their part in the French Revolution, following the dictum of Liberty and Equality but sans Fraternity.

Satisfying the wander lust

If ever boredom threatens to kick in, a short picnic at Alambara Fort (on ECR, 40 kms towards Mahabalipuram) is my recipe. It has long stretches of shallow water one can wade through and a pristine beach yet unsullied by the ravages of tourism.

A day’s trip to Gingee fort (60 kms, towards Tiruvannamalai) is another attraction. Other than the steep climb, we get to meet herds of our ancestors who are more interested in the bananas and eats we carry with us.

The bliss of doing nothing!

With its scenic promenade, picturesque locations, an old world French ambience, Sri Aurobindo Ashram and Auroville, Pondicherry offers the lay visitor a curious combination of hedonistic as well as spiritual opportunities. One could go on a spirited binge and enjoy an upliftment of a transient kind. Otherwise, one could soak in its spiritual glow and relish a bliss which lasts much longer.

Often, when relatives call up to announce that they are planning to pounce on us, one of the most frequently asked questions is this: “What is there to do in Pondicherry?” When I say “Nothing”, they get disappointed. I then proceed to cheer them up by pointing out that this, the opportunity of doing nothing, is indeed the Unique Selling Proposition of the place.

The soft power of Pondicherry is the reason I do not relish being a Non Resident Pondicherryite for an extended period of time!

(Photograph of the moon and the yoga illustration are both courtesy the world wide web)

(Published in the New Race Journal, Vol II, Issue II: New Race: http://sacar.in/2016_NR_V-2_I-2%20Aug2016.pdf)

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Kundan Lal Saigal: Hindi Cinema’s first Superstar

Much before the term ‘Super Star’ was coined, we had the inimitable K L Saigal.

Here is a well researched post on the legendary work of this great artist.

My Views On Bollywood

 By

Sharada Iyer

 

Acknowledged as one of Hindi Cinema’s greatest legends, Kundan Lal Saigal was hailed as ‘Shahenshah-e-mausiqi’ (emperor of music) as well as the ‘ghazal king’ and became a phenomenon in his lifetime.  He appeared at a time when recording techniques were rudimentary and the film industry was on the brink of changing from ‘silent films’ to ‘talkies’. As songs started becoming an integral part of movie scripts, he had to devote his time equally between acting and singing.  Within a short span of 15 years and without any formal training in music, the irresistible spell cast by his golden voice remains unparalleled and his songs recorded eighty years ago evoke the same kind of magic even today…

Often while writing columns on superstars of Hindi Cinema, the counting incongruously starts with the triumvirate of Dilip Kumar-Dev Anand-Raj Kapoor who dominated a large part of the Black&White…

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Great Wodehouse Romances: Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend (by Ken Clevenger)

When it comes to romantic affairs, age is never a bar. One gets the courage to stand up to dominating sisters and obtrusive gardeners. Moss covered alleys get preferred over stony ones. Stiff collars get forgotten. The joy of providing nourishment to keep the body and soul of the beloved together reigns supreme.

 

Plumtopia

The superb short story ‘Lord Emsworth and the Girlfriend’ was published in ‘Blandings Castle’

My heartfelt thanks to the inimitable Ken Clevenger for contributing a wonderful and very fitting first piece in this Valentine’s series dedicated to the  Great Wodehouse Romances.

* * *

Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend

by Ken  Clevenger

“Lord Emsworth and the Girl Friend” is the great Wodehousian romance, most worthy of a special Valentine. My starting point is the very nature of great romances. Love must blossom, however improbably. It will be heroic, idyllic, and set in the beauty of nature, but not without the odd nettle. In the end love conquers all, as someone once noted; Jeeves, perhaps?

The easy part is to recognize in this “perfect short story” that Blandings and its gardens are the bounty of nature. The nettle, perhaps I should have said thistle, as le mot juste, is…

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A Portuguese connection

An interview of your truly which appeared in Vida Economica in Portuguese some time back:

1. You are publishing your book in Portugal in March. What’s your relationship with Portugal? Why Portugal to publish your book?

It would be recalled that the relationship between our two countries goes back quite a few centuries.

At the personal level, I have several friends from Goa and Cochin in India, both of which were the seat of power for Portugal till the 1960s. I have always people from these areas to be highly committed but fun-loving at the same time.

At the professional level, having worked in the leather footwear industry for a long time, I had occasionally been in touch with some such businesses in North of Portugal.

Some time back, I came across CEO World, and felt connected to your lovely country.

Relationships evolve over a period of time. It is time to improve the engagement between our two countries. Traditional knowledge and management wisdom is just one facet of the possibilities. That is how, the thought of publishing a book here came up.

2. Amazon said recently that they will not fail to be a major player in India (as it happened in China). They will invest much more this time. How do you see the opportunities for Portuguese companies in India?

Against the gloomy backdrop of major economies, India happens to be a bright spot in the world today. The new government has grand plans for development and is taking steps to improve the ease of doing business in India. The potential in the semi-urban and rural pockets of India is great. Portuguese businesses have a unique opportunity now to enter into tie-ups with companies of Indian origin.

Globally, the largest pool of educated manpower willing to work hard is available in India. History has taught Indians to live harmoniously together, despite wide-ranging diversity in terms of religion, languages and castes. These are unique strengths which can be effectively leveraged by businesses in Portugal.

Companies which want to do business in India would do well to (a) Identify their key strengths which would be of relevance to India, whether in the field of infrastructure, renewable energy, farm productivity, leisure and tourism, etc, (b) Take the help of experts who can put them in touch with reliable business partners in India, and (c) Be clear and patient about the characteristics of the market segment they identify to cater to.

3. “Surviving in the Corporate Jungle” mixes humour with management. Why do you think it should be read by Portuguese managers?

Management concepts are universal in nature. When you wish to motivate your team members, it does not matter whether you are in Porto or in Mumbai. When you are down-sizing, the challenges are the same, irrespective of whether you are in Lisbon or in Delhi.

Portuguese managers who follow one of the effective habits popularized by Stephen R Covey – KEEP SHARPENING YOUR SAW – would greatly benefit from the managerial wisdom of India.

The messages conveyed in the book are serious in nature. Their packaging is not. Profound truths conveyed with a dash of humour, I believe, have a better chance of being effectively communicated.

I believe the upcoming book can help managers in Portugal and elsewhere become smarter, in other words, more effective.

4. Why did you decide to become a founding member of the Portuguese start-up CEO WORLD?

We live in times when the world is shrinking faster than ever. We are at the cusp of a new kind of ‘Industrial Revolution’ which is knowledge-driven. Call it a ‘Binary Revolution’, if you will. Technology is making information more democratic in nature.

Start-ups which enable sharing of management practices across the world serve a useful purpose in the society. Moreover, when we share challenges and discuss possible solutions on a global platform, we gain in terms of empathy and expand our consciousness. We are then making a small but significant contribution towards global harmony, much like a small group of violinists which is a part of a grand orchestra.

For example, one of the platforms CEO World offers is that of Peer Groups. Here, I get to share my current challenges with CEOs from all over the world on a video conference platform. There is no conflict of interest, there is accountability, and there are no travel costs involved. As and when one is visiting each other, one can take the discussion forward.

Peer Groups have been in operation since the last 60/70 years in such countries as the US, Canada, AU, NZ and UK. But the novel idea being practiced at CEO World is that of virtual peer groups which are global in nature. This is a disruptive concept led by a Portuguese start-up.

5. What are your plans for the future and how do you envision your relationship with Portugal?

As a person who suffers from ‘Professoritis’, the plans are for an enhanced level of engagement with the management institutes and associations in Portugal. Another book proposal is on the drawing board. Given support, I would love to do a book comparing the managerial styles of CEOs in Portugal and in India.

It would also be exciting to connect with Portuguese companies who want to have a better understanding of the Indian culture and market and vice versa. Perhaps I can make a modest contribution towards building more bridges between our two countries. This gets aligned with the mission of CEO WORLD: of decreasing the gap between cultures and bringing about a better understanding between the two populations.

(Source: Vida Economica, February 26, 2016)

You can buy the book here.

(Related Posts:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/02/26/the-book-como-sobreviver-na-selva-empresarial-guia-pratico

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/02/28/the-book-como-sobreviver-na-selva-empresarial-guia-pratico-2-0

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/03/02/the-book-como-sobreviver-na-selva-empresarial-guia-pratico-3-0)

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The cost of not innovating

Here is an excerpt from a book titled ‘Future Proof Your Business‘ by Mr Prakash Seshadri.

Realistically speaking, we are always on the verge of a slow down or a flat economy. In the past, CEOs made serious mistakes in trying to cope with a slowing economy. Here is a list of What Not to Do.

All of them hurt innovation. Unless you really want to compete on price, the ability to do sustained innovation is the one competitive edge left. Innovation is the driver of performance, growth and stock market valuation.

Here are the 10 worst mistakes you can make in a slow down that will hurt innovation:

1) Fire talent

Cutting back on people, especially really smart, high-priced people, is a quick way to cut costs. It will hurt companies who follow this way. Talent is the single most important variable in innovation.

2) Cut back on technology

It is being reported that companies are already curbing investments in technology to save money; banks especially. The rise of social networking and consumer power means that companies have to be part of a larger conversation with their customers. This means big money spent on IT.

3) Reduce Risk

Innovation requires taking chances and dealing with failure. Recessions push managers to be more conservative. They need to fight this instinct.

4) Stop New Product Development

Saving money often means cutting back on new products and services during an economic downturn. This hurts companies when growth returns and they have fewer offerings in the marketplace to attract consumers.

5) Boards Replace Growth-Oriented CEOs with Cost-Cutting CEOs

Sudden declines in revenues and profits often lead boards of directors to search for managers with experience in pinching pennies. That’s what appeared to happen recently at Bang & Olufsen. Penny-pinching CEOs don’t have the skills to grow, when growth returns.

6) Companies Retreat from Globalization

It’s expensive to expand globally and managers often save money by cutting back on emerging markets. It’s a big mistake. Emerging markets are sources of new revenue, business models, and talent.

7) CEOs Replace Innovation as Key Strategy

By turning defensive, top managers take innovation off the top of the official agenda and replace it with systems management and squeezing costs. The entire organization follows. It is extremely hard to reverse this when growth returns.

8) Performance Metrics Are Changed

To save money and cut costs, managers shift employee evaluations away from rewarding riskier new projects toward sustaining safer older goals. Risk-averse behavior follows. Again, this is hard to change.

9) Hierarchy Is Reinforced Over Collaboration

Sudden drops in revenue and profit often lead companies to panic and mobilize to stem the decline. The need for fast decision-making often leads to a return to command-and-control management. This alienates creative-class employees, young Gen Y and Xers and stops the evolution of corporation organization toward a flat, collaborative, open source model.

10) Retreat into Walled Castles

Cutting back on outside consultancies is seen as a quick way to save money. Yet one of the key ways of introducing change into business culture is to bring in outside innovation and design consultants. They know what companies across a broad range of industries around the world are doing to promote change. Not receiving this information can hurt a company’s global competitive position.

Winners always emerge out of slow downs and they almost always beat their competition on the basis of something new. Apple worked on iTunes, iPod and its retail stores during the last slow down and came out swinging once growth returned to destroy its competition. Apple didn’t make any of the top 10 innovation mistakes. Your company shouldn’t either.

(Here is a link to a teaser of the book:http://imojo.in/crpeqy)

(Related Post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2013/01/23/of-idleness-innovation-and-the-peter-principle)

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Super Leaders: The near-perfect CEOs

There are indeed times when we run into CEOs whose heads are screwed on just right. They are passionate about what they do. Their heart is in the right place, beating at a rhythm which matches that of the people and the environment. Their sense of ethics is in harmony with their value system which is governed by respect for the society at large. In terms of an upgraded Blake Mouton Grid, they can be spotted in the vicinity of the slot at 9,9,9.

When it comes to achieving results, they do not pull their punches. Their bosses never cease to be amazed by their effectiveness and efficiency. The competition is in awe of many of them and cannot really be blamed for making repeated attempts to poach them. They do not live from one quarter to the next quarter. Their thinking is strategic. Their vision is far-sighted.

This is not to say that they do not fail. In fact, they are quick to learn from their failures and are good at using those as stepping-stones to future successes. They also refuse to become complacent after achieving a spectacular success. They realize which elements contributed to a particular success and know what could not be replicated in future. Setting new goal posts for themselves and for their team comes naturally to them.

They go out of their way to help a person in distress. They would defend their people much like a tigress would protect her cubs. When down-sizing is the target, key players could get supported by out-placement initiatives.

The real workers in their team simply adore them. The shirkers, if they manage to stick around, despise them. High achievers look up to them for inspiration and direction. Mediocre ones respect and obey them. The good-for-nothing fellows have no place in their teams.

They are invariably fair and transparent in their dealings with not only their own people but also with other stakeholders in business. Customers find their product costs to be open and agree on realistic prices. Suppliers are expected to do the same, thereby ensuring margins which are fair and sustainable. Financiers and auditors find it delightful to deal with them. Investors repose their faith in the organizations they happen to be associated with.

With CEOs like them around, corporate governance never takes a back seat. Exceeding the boundaries set by rules and regulations comes naturally to their teams. Organizations headed by them do not wait for a legal imposition in the realm of Corporate Social Responsibility. They seize the initiative of their own, so the community gets benefited. With no scams in sight, and with open and fair dealings with customers, the brand equity of their organizations inevitably soars.

They happen to be people who practice equanimity. They are at peace with themselves. They enjoy inner harmony and tranquility and radiate it to those who happen to be in their circle of influence. A team member who enters their office with suicidal thoughts could often be seen returning with a chuckle on her face, batteries all charged up.

Succession planning comes naturally to them. Their teams comprise several members who would be following in their footsteps and aping their style of functioning. These are the Incumbent Chiefs, who would fit in at such spots as 5,5,5 and 7,7,7. When CEOs of this genre decide to move on to greener pastures, one of them is ready to fit into their shoes and run the enterprise based on a culture which is not easy to replicate.

Such CEOs rank high in terms of not only their Intelligence Quotient and Emotional Quotient but also their Spiritual Quotient.

Managements of all hues are always on the lookout for CEOs of this kind. Head hunters specialize in ferreting out such CEOs and nudging them into the employment market. Hefty pay packets might not attract them; a corporate value system steeped in equality, fairness and openness just might.

(Related Posts:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/12/24/looking-for-ceos-inspired-by-the-yuletide-spirit

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/01/07/ceos-who-happen-to-be-charmless-charlies

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/01/14/ceos-who-end-up-becoming-road-rollers

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/01/22/the-sponge-comforter-ceos

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About me

Netizens who have made the cardinal error of following me on any social network could be forgiven for imagining me as a dashing speaker, blogger and author.

Not a Jeeves in the realm of Management

Snapshots, videos and blog posts would inevitably depict me as a management expert dishing out sage advice with an impish sparkle in the eyes, often misconstrued as indicating supreme intelligence. Seasoned observers would notice a receding hairline and imagine me to be an intellectual cove. Perhaps a head bulging out at the back, much like that of Jeeves, would lead many amongst my followers to conclude that I would have minted millions by this time, squeezing the last penny out of some Bertie-like super rich but mentally negligible bosses I would have assisted in a long career.

Well, nothing could be further from the truth. Those who wish to dig deeper into the subject of who I am would be startled to find that the responsibility of depicting yours truly in such a flattering manner falls squarely on the illusory sophistication and the veneer of respectability a lesser mortal gets imbued with, when behind the façade of social media.

An error of judgement

Fondly known as ‘AKB’ to my friends and colleagues, I am a management graduate of what I would prefer to describe as the pre-Jurassic period of management education. Delhi University is to be squarely blamed for dishing out a post-graduate degree to me in Physics, way back in 1974. The University Business School at Panjab University, Chandigarh, also appears to have made a singular error of judgement in awarding me a MBA degree in 1976.

Professors who had the misfortune of educating me came in several sizes and shapes. The brilliant ones could never come to terms with the singular absence of common sense in my thought processes. The mediocre ones had no other option but to feel frustrated at not being able to detain me at any level of my educational ladder. The poor ones were so indifferent that I often landed up studying the subject myself, thereby gaining more interest in those subjects.

An expert at Mismanagement

If an expert in the field of management were to put my escapades under the microscope of academic rigour, she could be condoned for recommending my appointment as a Dean of a School of Mismanagement at an Ivy League institute of international repute.

The fact remains that several top corporates in India and abroad have had to bear with my unique style of mismanagement for over thirty-five years. The ones which have suffered in particular are such companies as Tata International, Hidesign, and HCL.

My entrepreneurial endeavours in the realm of market research and HR have left many of my had-been-clients shaken but not stirred. A benevolent client once rued how happy his company had been if I had done my own market research better and if only they had not availed of my (dis)services.

A number of start-ups have seen me in the stellar role of a promoter-director. Records would show that many of these sank without a trace. I was blessed with a flair for visualizing lofty goals. I always attempted flawless planning and backed it up with miserable execution. My lack of attention to detail often left my customers exasperated.

From delegation to abdication

While in a career, I always followed the policy of focusing on the peripheral targets, whereas my team members took care of the Key Result Areas. With me, the art of delegation often evolved into sheer abdication. Needless to say, companies were often happy to see me packing my bags and leaving.

My travels have taken me far and wide, but those who know me well are still not too sure if I have yet understood the work culture and ethics of different countries and continents.

I do believe I attract people with my positive vibrations, but I have played no role in the recent confirmation of the existence of gravitational waves by physicists. I might sound like a global manager, but have not been successful in cross-cultural validation of any of the management theories and concepts.

The perils of those who receive my services

Having hung my boots in the corporate world, I am now working with some NGOs in the field of Management and Spirituality. One can only wish these outfits well.

I am aware that I happen to be an active blogger whose tardy progress in the blogosphere is being watched with little interest by any of my occasional followers.

Yes, I am passionate about movies. Many movie directors are delighted at not having been approached by me with any script of a likely blockbuster. This way, their careers are not likely to go bust any time soon.

Of ‘Wodehousitis’ and ‘Professoritis’

I am happy to be suffering from “Wodehousitis” and “Professoritis” and do not seek any cure for these ailments. A scholastic attitude and a habit of “keeping my saw sharpened” have made several University departments and educational institutes invite me for sporadic guest lectures, only to repent later.

CEO World in Portugal has recently made the mistake of making me an Editor-in-Chief of their blog site. Vida Economica of Portugal has even gone ahead and taken the risk of publishing a book of mine in Portuguese.

The corporate world heaves a sigh of relief to discover that my activities are now mostly confined to delivering inane talks at leading management institutes and unleashing pseudo-scholarly books and articles on the unsuspecting public. This ensures that they remain free to run their businesses the way they like, whereas I spend the rest of my days on this planet in a high-spirited state of bliss, doing what I love to do – reading, writing, listening to music, visiting exotic locales and generally pottering about in Norway, Switzerland and India.

The Association of Ineffective and Morose Managers

If ever your luck were to run out and you were to step out of your virtual world and get to meet me in person, and also have the misfortune of spending some time with me, I would not be surprised to receive a frantic call the very next day, pleading with me to immediately assume the position of the President of the Association of Ineffective and Morose Managers.

Wish you all a goofy April Fools’ Day!

(Related Post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2018/07/16/an-interaction-with-some-rotarians-at-pondicherry)

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