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For movie buffs who are also tuned to ‘ragas’ of Hindustani Classical Music, here is yet another delectable offering from ‘My Views on Bollywood’.

Enjoy!

My Views On Bollywood

By

Sharada Iyer

Music directors of our film industry have skillfully woven the basics of classical ragas from our rich musical heritage in a simple form and given us outstanding film songs that could reach out to a much wider section of the audience and thus find mass appeal. Instead of strictly adhering to all the technicalities of the raga which can be appreciated only by a few, the essence or the flavour of the raga is maintained in the song to give us the right feel and emotion associated with the scene or mood of the character. Sometimes the raga is only lightly touched upon and at other times the raga is mixed with other ragas to highlight its beauty.

Lyricists, music directors, singers and finally the actors and actresses have all contributed by adding their own magic to enhance the appeal and reach of these songs to the…

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Mr Schnellenhamer, the head of the Perfecto-Zizz-baum Corporation, the leading movie studio, is reported to be having an odd disagreeable feeling these days. Perhaps, it is caused by what Roget’s Thesaurus would describe as  agitation, fury, violent anger, wrath and similar emotions listed under the heading ‘Rage’, that too of an impotent kind.

Having struck a deal with Coronavirus Global Corp (CGC in short) to unleash upon the public a movie based on the current pandemic, he believes things to be moving a tad sluggishly. He is not able to gather enough goofy ideas to add a sparkle to the script. Discussions with his team of directors, script-writers, music composers, yes-persons, deputy yes-persons, junior yes-persons, nodders and trainee nodders have led to finalization of the basic outlines of the movie. But he feels much more could be done. CGC had mandated that the movie should get released before any vaccine or virus anti-dote hits the market.

Tentatively titled ‘The Corona Gladiators’, the movie would capture the positive effects of the pandemic over all the inhabitants of our planet; also, the eventual victory of Homo sapiens over the deadly virus emanating from the laboratories of Coronavirus Global Corp (CGC in short).

Details of the plot are yet to be revealed but perhaps the hero and the heroine, cast in the mould of Psmith and Eve, would both be scientists working on an anti-virus drug. Frustrated at the lack of results, they go underground on a super secret mission to steal innovative ideas from laboratories elsewhere in the world. To be shot in Washington, London, Paris, Oslo, Beijing, Tokyo, New Delhi and Canberra, the movie will have car chases, gun fights, encounters with secret services and many other elements which would ensure not only commercial success but also critical acclaim.

The climax may see the couple, after having whipped up an anti-virus drug, facing a bunch of rogue Vice Presidents of CGC inside the Colosseum in Rome. Before being threatened with pistols designed to fire a volley of vials filled with the brand new anti-dote and running off to safer pastures, CGC personnel will blast humanity in general for its apathy towards environment and Mother Nature. As the drums start beating, declaring the brave gladiators to be victors, the titles start rolling. The end will leave the doors open for a sequel which could cover the onset of a far more deadly version of the virus.

Some of the sub-plots discussed so far for spicing up the script are as follows.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Leaders  

 Poor politicos live in glass houses but are well-endowed to hurl stones at others, as and when the situation demands so. The pandemic is merely just another tool in their hands to beef up their image further and also to win upcoming elections by clipping the wings of those in opposition.

Top honchos like Prime Ministers and others are improving upon their macho-but-sensitive images these days by not only flexing their muscles to browbeat enemies – real or imaginary – but also remaining in news for unexpected reasons.

Scribes were recently surprised – much like a nymph while bathing – when the British Prime Minister Boris Johnson did some push-ups on his office carpet during a newspaper interview to demonstrate his post-Corona fitness for the job.

Danish Prime Minister Mette Fredricksen decided to postpone her wedding in order to be able to attend a meeting of the European Council on the virus. We understand this is the third time she has done this.

Hon’ble A B Filmer has been requested to collect more details on the leaders who have publically defied such norms as social distancing and wearing masks.

Atithi Devo Bhava

Back home, India has always believed in treating guests with reverence, atithi devo bhava being the norm. Many Indians thus decided to heartily welcome the Country Managers of Coronavirus Global Corp (CGC) by clapping, lighting candles, ringing bells and banging pots and pans from their balconies.

In order to assist CGC in exceeding its own estimates of market share and bottom line in the country, some imaginative steps were taken. First, a complete lockdown ensured that the migrant labourers got stuck in cramped urban spaces where they could easily get infected. Gradually, they were prodded to migrate to distant rural areas, thereby improving the spread. Those who remained in urban areas threw caution to the winds when it came to wearing masks and following norms of social distancing. After all, there is a limit to what a hassled government and its officers can do to change the behaviour of its citizens in public places.

Aunt Dahlia is in agreement that this needs to be considered for inclusion in the proposed movie.

A Budding Romance

When two young and bright persons come to explore a small and peaceful place like Pondicherry in south India, a transient bond of affection gets strengthened. But on the 4th day of their stay, they are caught unawares by a harsh lockdown announced by the government at a notice of less than 4 hours!

While their needs for survival are adequately met, the sheer fact of living through a major event in their budding lives brings about a stronger play of the hormones. A not-so-astute observer might be forgiven for missing the stars in their eyes and the way their faces light up when they happen to be together.

Angela and Tuppy Glossop concur with this idea.

Cupid and the Mummification of the Corpse

Cupid is busy with his e-initiatives. Love birds living in different metros have learnt to remain contented with video and text chats till the time things return to a newer state of normalcy. A young couple whose marriage had got indefinitely postponed find that the boring part of their relationship has already started. The bride-to-be feels that there is a limit to the number of times one can ask each other how their day was, what they plan to have for dinner and the movie they intend to watch every night. It feels as if they have been living in a fast forward mode and have already sensed the process of the mummification of the corpse of love some time after the priest has chanted the last mantra and the marriage has been sanctified.

Bertie Wooster is delighted that he is not being asked to play a role in the movie.

Some Green Shoots

It is an open secret that thanks to the aggressive marketing strategy being practiced by CGC the world over, sale of sanitizers and related hygiene products has registered an exponential growth. Lifestyle coaches and loony doctors are laughing all the way to their respective banks. Yoga-gurus-turned-business-honchos are busy re-labelling and re-launching select products, unleashing these upon an unsuspecting public. So are the owners of online streaming platforms who have grabbed the rights of movies being churned out by our dream merchants.

The last mentioned would be delighted to know of a retired Rev. Aubrey Upjohn who has created an excel sheet which lists the movies on offer on various streaming platforms. Much of his time now gets spent on keeping the list always updated in terms of new arrivals and the ones which are yet to be watched!

Immunity-boosting Tissue Restoratives

Across homes, homemakers are whipping up turmeric and basil based tissue restoratives, prompting all their family members to gobble the same without much ado. Those who are in the business of spices are chuffed at the sudden uptick in their fortunes.

Laura Pyke heartily approves.

Suggestions are welcome!

Would you have a suggestion to offer as to how to make this movie a wee bit juicier? Suggestions may be mailed to Wilmot.mulliner@zizzbaum.org.

Those whose ideas get selected will receive an invitation to visit the studios and have a meal with Mabel Potter and Wilmot Mulliner.

(Illustration courtesy Mr Suvarna Sanyal)

 

(Related Posts:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2020/04/11/who-ropes-in-doctors-and-paramedics-from-plumsville-to-counter-corona-virus-part-1-of-2

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2020/06/20/of-lockdowns-p-g-wodehouse-and-the-milk-of-human-kindness)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Plumtopia

Four silent film adaptations of P.G. Wodehouse’s work mark their 100th anniversary in 2019, making this a fitting year to take a closer look at the Silent Films of P.G. Wodehouse.

‘…we’re hoping to have more good news for you at any moment. The movie end.’

It had never occurred to Cosmo that there was a movie end.

‘Our man in Hollywood seems sure it will. He’s been sending significant cables almost daily…’

Cocktail Time – P.G. Wodehouse

As a centennial celebration of Wodehouse silent film, this post arrives a little late — the first Wodehouse adaptation for cinema being A Gentleman of Leisurein 1915. But 1919 was a golden year for Wodehouse adaptation, with four silent film versions of P.G. Wodehouse works released.

Many of the films from this era are sadly lost to us and details of the silent Wodehouse adaptations can be difficult for the…

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My Views On Bollywood

By

Sharada Iyer

Lyrics impart soul to the song and form an integral and important part of any song. Not only do the lyricists have to use their talent to express in words a variety of feelings and emotions but they also need to have the knack to fit the words into a 3-minute song format to suit the character and the demands of the scene as conceived by the director. Indeed it requires tremendous skill, a lot of imagination and mastery over the language to come up with winning results.

Our film industry has been blessed with some brilliant poets and lyricists in every era but not all of them attained the same level of popularity. Though we may recollect the names of some top lyricists like Shailendra, Hasrat Jaipuri, Sahir Ludhianvi, Anand Bakshi, Indeevar, Majrooh Sultanpuri, etc., not many of us can remember lyricists like Naqsh Lyallpuri, S…

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Our dream merchants keep dishing out movies. Some of us who use a managerial lens to view the same keep learning new lessons from these.

There are several parallels between a reel career and a real career. On the screen, we admire a hero. At our place of work, we admire some of our bosses. On the screen, we notice the oomph of a diva and fall in love with her, at least temporarily, till the time the next heart-throb pops up in another movie after some time. Likewise, in real life, we come under the temporary spell of a company. We join it, only to find that what was showcased as heaven turns out to be a hell in more ways than one. We then decide to shift our allegiance to another corporate we come across.

In the movies, we learn to hate a villain or a vamp. In real life, we run into those who oppose all our proposals tooth and nail. Some do it openly whereas others, much to our chagrin, do it covertly. We decide to move on to greener pastures, only to find some villainous characters there as well. Only the faces and names change, their jaundiced approach to us does not.

While watching a movie, we experience a willing suspension of disbelief. In real life, we often end up suspending our egos and our autonomy of thought. If a flick makes us travel to a fantasy land for 2-3 hours, a career makes us grind our heels for at least 10 hours a day.

Recently, an opportunity came up for yours truly to interact with members of the Ahmedabad Management Association in India. Some of the fresh ideas presented at the event could be summed up as follows.

Building Synergy and Team Management

  • Handling ethnic and regional prejudices
  • Seeking areas of agreement first
  • Building on strengths, Compensating for weaknesses; Synergy
  • Overcoming adversity
  • No eve teasing, No sexual harassment

Inspiring Leadership

The manner in which Nelson Mandela endeavours to overcome racial prejudices not only in his team of personal assistants but also in the country makes one sit back and wonder as to how he thought of using a sport like rugby to further his agenda. One of the qualities of leaders who inspire us is a capacity to indulge in out-of-box thinking to solve complex problems.

Brand Building



If one was about putting customer needs first, the other was about the use of even unethical means to achieve an ethical end – that of delivering better value to customers. Both cover a critical success factor which contributes towards building a brand.

Human Values: Energy and Wisdom

When a start-up driven by only youthful energy also starts tapping into the wisdom of an experienced executive, things start to fall into place. Business grows in a sustainable manner.

Firing and Terrorizing


The emotional cost of being on a firing spree could take its own toll, dulling sensibilities in a significant manner. The trauma of working under a tough and unreasonable boss leads to a deeper understanding of the managerial process.

Hormones vs Hierarchies





Managements can no longer afford to look the other way when their key performers happen to be having a serious affair with one of their team members. Work places need to be made more gender sensitive.

Battling the Cancer of Corruption


Both were a humorous take on the issue. One led to failure while the other one concluded on a positive note.

Aiming High


Demonstrates the kind of sacrifices one makes and the subterfuges one indulges in to climb the ladder to dizzying heights of one’s chosen profession. Managing successes and failures with a dash of equanimity is a critical factor.

Mentoring



Deep reserves of patience are a hallmark of a good mentor. The satisfaction of a job well done is far more important than the money at stake.

Start Ups



Identifying and tapping latent market potential is an important skill for an entrepreneur to have. Leveraging one’s core strengths happens to be another.

 

Some Observations of the Audience

  1. Quite a few movies gain traction due to the pre-release controversies which appear to get whipped up. Would you say that such controversies form a part of a well-orchestrated marketing campaign for the movie concerned?

In most of the cases, perhaps yes. When millions ride on a single movie, the producers would go to any lengths to keep the box office registers ringing aloud.

  1. Many of the movie reviews in the press appear to be unduly biased, either praising or panning a work in a superficial manner. Whom can we trust for an honest and objective review?

Good observation. Since I am active in blogosphere, over the years, I have somehow come to trust some individuals who, I believe, provide a balanced view of the movies which keep coming up. Here are some which might be of interest to those who love cinema:

Of course, there would be several others whom I am yet to discover.

  1. Why did you not think of becoming a movie critic yourself?

Simply because I would rather watch a movie with a quiet mind, sans a deadline and an editor breathing down my neck. Making one’s hobby a profession has its own perils! 

  1. The rising level of obscenity in our movies. Is there anything that can be done about it?

Trust our film makers to keep pushing the envelope further with each passing year. Shock, awe and titillation happen to be the name of the game. A rejection by audience could alone bring results. A self-certification by movie makers as to the Gender Sensitivity Rank of an offering could help.

 

(Notes:

 

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ashokbhatia

Bollywood’s take on corruption differs across various time zones. Just as the society has evolved, so has the approach taken by Bollywood on depicting and tackling corruption changed over the past few decades.

In the black and white era of Gandhian simplicity, it was often more about the bad guys being urban gentlemen and the good guys being rural urchins. Movies like ‘Do Bigha Zameen’ (1953), ‘Jagte Raho’ (1956) and ‘Parakh’ (1960) readily come to one’s mind.

Jagte_Raho_1956_film_poster

We have also had movies where the lead cast suffered in dignified silence. The audience was often left with a feeling of disgust towards all those who were shown as corrupt. Movies like ‘Satyakam’ (1969) left us with a fond hope that things would somehow improve in the future. satyakam

Then came the angry-young-man phase. Here, we had the revenge theme. Muscular power ruled and the…

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ashokbhatia

For avid fans of P G Wodehouse, it is not easy to relish the kind of comedies Bollywood keeps churning out. Humour which is loud, crass and uncouth repels them. Back-slapping and guffawing is something they do not take kindly to. What appeals to their finer sensibilities is a subtle brand of humour. Even mild sarcasm does not make their shapely eyebrows arch upwards by a fraction of an inch, as long as it is delivered in fine taste.Movie Mad world

Play a so-called comedy which is full of inane humour, double entendres and much back-slapping, and they are apt to recoil in horror. Bring in a typical rom-com and they would bemoan the repetitive nature of the goings on. But switch to a movie with a dash of Wodehousian humour, and one would find them in good cheer, nibbling a yummy chocolate with their soul-mate sprawled next to them on the…

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ashokbhatia

Smart managers are always keen to ‘sharpen their saw’. They always remain alert to new ideas from all sides. Movies are no exception. These provide valuable inputs to managers at all levels – from green-behind-the-ear beginners to CEOs and owners.

Here is an update on the key take away lessons from some of the movies I am aware of: some from Kollywood, some from Hollywood and many others from Bollywood.

ENTERING THE CORPORATE JUNGLE

  • Setting Realistic Goals (Manal Kayiru: A Rope/Thread of Sand)movieposter-_manal_kaiyru_2

Be Realistic, whether looking for a life partner or a job! The hero sets impossible conditions to be met while seeking a life partner. As a result, he gets conned into marrying a girl who is exactly the opposite.

In the arena of management, we work with customers, suppliers, employees, service providers and other stakeholders. It helps us to be realistic about what we want from…

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ashokbhatia

Movies reflect what is happening in the society. In some cases, like literature, they also hint at what could be in store for us in the days to come. They not only influence what happens in the society, but also take a harsh look at its ills – including their own! There are a number of spoofs, created by some of our best known dream merchants, which reveal the level of maturity the film industry has attained.

Somehow, movies examine only some segments of the society; that too, mostly along predictable lines. Politicians, cops, industrialists and others are mostly depicted in a stereotyped manner. Business and management have so far not merited much attention from our film makers.

If business has been captured, it has mostly been depicted to be ruthless. Catering to mass appeal, the film makers have propounded the belief that big money is invariably bad. The fact…

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ashokbhatia

With its scenic promenade, picturesque locations, an old world French ambience, Sri Aurobindo Ashram and Auroville, Puducherry offers the lay visitor a curious combination of hedonistic as well as spiritual opportunities. One could go on a spirited binge and simply freak out. Otherwise, one could soak in its spiritual glow and get mentally uplifted.

True to the innate character of Puducherry, most of the films shot in the town also reflect a somewhat similar bipolar tendency. Amorous endeavors get captured on celluloid. Themes with a spiritual strain also find Puducherry attractive. Occasionally, one would find the town getting mentioned in a block buster!

Here is a quick recap of the Hindi and English movies which have had a Puducherry connection.pondy movie Jism

Jism (2003, Amit Saxena) was an erotic thriller. Obsession with the pleasures of the flesh and greed for wealth eventually drive the main protagonists towards a tragic end.

pondy movie black 1

Black (2005…

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