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Posts Tagged ‘Birthday’

Often, my so-called well-wishers criticize me for reading and admiring Plum too much. However, the reasons which keep this craving of mine – to keep devouring his works – alive and kicking, are not too difficult to fathom.

A Chin-up Attitude

There are practical instances wherein I am persuaded to believe that too much of an association with this gentleman’s works will not suggest any solutions to the problems I face in day-to-day life. However, once the problem is over, I realize that the courage to sail through the peril was somehow provided by him. The outcome is that of maintaining a jaunty sang froid while facing the harsh slings and arrows of Fate.

The Utility of a Plummy Lens

Many a time, say during an extreme crisis, I have observed that I switch myself off and start thinking of the situation in the light of his works. For example, when someone shouts at me or at anyone else who may be the weaker party in that situation, the face of the shout-er (irrespective of gender) resembles that of Roderick Spode whereas that of the shout-ee looks like that of either Bertie or Bingo Little. Somehow, my anger evaporates. I start giggling internally, of course, while experiencing extreme difficulty in keeping myself serious externally. Likewise, many of his characters keep assisting me from time to time. When a senior starts ridiculing me, I stand before him, often shuffling my feet, like one of the guilty pupils of Rev. Aubrey Upjohn, as if I had tried to steal some cookies from the jar kept inside the desk in his office. When a colleague starts showering some undue favours upon me, I feel like Oofy Prosser and suspect the person to be planning to soon touch me for the proverbial tenner.

To me, someone throwing weight around sounds like Pop Basset. Those who view me critically and make me feel as if I could do with a heavy dose of intellectual upliftment look like Aunt Agatha or Rupert Baxter. Someone in whose company I become tongue-tied and gawky remind me of Bertie when he is with either Madeline Bassett or Corky Pirbright. When I fail to recollect some crucial information at a critical juncture, which happens rather frequently, I feel like Lord Emsworth. Whenever I participate in a karate event, I feel as if Pauline Stoker is cheering me from amongst the viewers. When I am with my better half, I believe myself to be like Bingo Little, ensuring that she gets her evening cup of tea for sure. The list is endless. I wish I could keep on adding here. But you get the drift. In different situations, I readily imagine having the traits of one of his characters. 

Does a Dependence on Plum Help?

To be in context (which many of my friends, and well-wishers, bless them, feel 90% of the time I am not), I often wonder if too much dependency on this man has made me a bit of a person who lives in a dream world. Well, the straightforward answer to which is a ‘yes.’ The question that readily follows, and is perhaps more contextual, is, does that help? Well, the answer to this is not that straightforward. To be specific, sometimes it is a ‘yes’ and sometimes it is a ‘no’ depending on the mood I am in at that time. However, the funny part is, if it is a ‘yes’ then fine, but if it is otherwise, I have found, I end up going through a book of his to ultimately nullify the apprehension of saying ‘yes!’

I thank all my friends, family members, and patrons who have introduced me to the beautiful world created by him. It may not be fashionable to say this, but I think I suffer from, for want of a better term, an addiction. It keeps provoking me to revisit the world, created by this gentleman, again and again, ignoring the words of caution from my so-called critics and well-wishers who keep trying to make my life better with their thoughts of ‘wisdom.’

The Perks of an Addiction

As to words of wisdom, given the age I am at, the incitement to impart knowledge to others increases. In a way, this satisfies my ego which gets a chance to brag. Like Thos, I can afford to view those around me with a supercilious gaze. The fact remains that all of us have a kid within ourselves. One of the many achievements of this gentleman is that he successfully keeps that child alive within us through his works. As they say, er, isn’t there a proverb that connects a child, father, and man? The brainy cove who came up with it was surely spot on. 

An Appeal to the Wodehouse Estate

Let me also take this opportunity to convey a humble request of mine to the Wodehouse Estate. I would suggest that like such other products as tobacco and alcohol, all books and stories of the Master Wordsmith of our times should mandatorily carry a clear warning to the effect that reading his narratives could lead to a severe state of addiction, and that they read his works only at their own risk and peril.

Happy Birth Anniversary!

Happy 141st, Sir. 141 years and still so very relevant. It makes me feel chuffed, satiated, and proud to realize that we continue to breathe, live, and enjoy the same world, drinking deep from the underground reservoirs of unalloyed bliss and joy he has left behind for us.

(A version of this write-up has also been posted by the author on the Fans of P G Wodehouse page of FB. His permission to republish this piece here is gratefully acknowledged.)

(Suryamouli Datta is a 42-year young fan of P G Wodehouse. He is a software professional, presently associated with Tata Consultancy Services. He is an amateurish author who is yet to knock at the publisher’s door. He is a black-brown belt in karate and occasionally dabbles in theatre. He also happens to be a movie buff.

He believes that Wodehouse, like golf, should be caught early and that his Guardian Angels have will-nilly ensured that this is what has happened to him! Thus, the ‘child’ in him is yet to grow up and he is pretty elated about it.)

(Related Post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/10/23/my-dear-clarence)

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In order to celebrate the 137th birth anniversary of P G Wodehouse, the Pittsburgh Millionaires decided to meet up on the 14th of October, 2018. The meeting took place at one of the Panera Cafés in the Oakland area of Pittsburgh, USA.

Lest some of you get an impression that the millionaires foregathered to discuss some trustworthy sources from where one could secure either a cow creamer or a scarab, you would be sadly mistaken. If your ambitions lead you to believe that you could have run into an arts dealer offering The Girl in Blue, the famous Gainsborough miniature, to one of the millionaires present at the gathering, you would be even more off the mark.

Had you been able to make it to the gig, you would have discovered the Pittsburgh Millionaires to be a group of strong and adventurous folks, well endowed and successful…

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ashokbhatia

Allow us to welcome you belatedly to this wonderful world on a special day,

When you turn one and fans in different continents are celebrating Plum;

For this is the day he decided to hand in his dinner pail,

Leaving a rich legacy of joy, should we ever become glum.

Unbeknown to you, you have brought happiness in many lives,

Not only to that of your parents and immediate family members;

But also to the lives of fans suffering from Corona-induced blues,

You brought hope to a sick planet and kept aglow joyful embers.

You dispelled our manner of death-where-is-thy-sting-fullness,

Keeping us safe indoors, devouring the works of the Master;

Reveling in the antics of those who lived almost a century back,

Keeping our sanity intact, building immunity, recovering faster.

In Plumsville, Death is surely not a dreaded phenomenon,

On the contrary, it confers wealth, castles and titles upon heirs;

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Allow us to welcome you belatedly to this wonderful world on a special day,

When you turn one and fans in different continents are celebrating Plum;

For this is the day he decided to hand in his dinner pail,

Leaving a rich legacy of joy, should we ever become glum.

 

Unbeknown to you, you have brought happiness in many lives,

Not only to that of your parents and immediate family members;

But also to the lives of fans suffering from Corona-induced blues,

You brought hope to a sick planet and kept aglow joyful embers.

 

You dispelled our manner of death-where-is-thy-sting-fullness,

Keeping us safe indoors, devouring the works of the Master;

Reveling in the antics of those who lived almost a century back,

Keeping our sanity intact, building immunity, recovering faster.

 

In Plumsville, Death is surely not a dreaded phenomenon,

On the contrary, it confers wealth, castles and titles upon heirs;

Hiring Jeeves or Anatole, buying white jackets with brass buttons,

But not behaving like an American millionaire, putting on airs.

 

Your first year on this planet was a tough year indeed,

When many of us lost our clear vision of 20:20;

Plum’s works kept us afloat, giving us hope of a brighter future,

We have survived to the day and can read these lines aplenty.

 

A stern look from you and the virus would have gone into hiding,

Like a rhino retreating upon seeing a White hunter with a shotgun;

Enthused, we also took it head on, savouring our enforced isolation,

Relishing opportunities for introspection and having fun.

 

Like Bertie Wooster, you may approve of our chin up attitude,

Deploying nerves of chilled steel, surviving a sudden lockdown;

Oh, how we craved renting a cottage in the countryside,

Free of the fear of an Edwin the Scout who may burn it down.

 

Lest we may contract the dreaded virus,

We had to let go of Anatole, God’s gift to our gastric juices;

A Laura Pyke type diet regime we had to follow,

Partaking immunity boosting foods, sans any dietary excuses.

 

Many unopened books adorning our shelves we could go through,

Improving our intellect with tomes dished out by brainy coves;

Curled up in a corner with a tissue restorative by our side,

While affianced couples connected over internet, cooing like turtle doves.

 

Never in our lives did we imagine watching so many flicks,

Many inane, some average and few so very well made;

Homemakers turned creative and tried myriad recipes,

Prompting many of us to don a figurative skirt and chip in with due aid.

 

The pleasures of offline shopping sprees had to be given up,

Instead, online shopping alone saved the day for many of us;

With the giant wheels of commerce temporarily shut down,

A revival of the environment turned out to be a big plus.

 

Some rarely seen birds trooped in, giant butterflies fluttering,

The bees were active, flora and fauna flourished, sky was azure;

Flowers bloomed with gaiety, greener trees swayed gently,

Nature was bountiful; the air one breathed was pure.

 

Those in metros were severely hit, spinsters all alone and forlorn,

Musicals like ‘Hamilton’ and ‘Pretty Woman’ were sorely missing;

Engagements and nuptials had to be postponed, wedding plans trimmed,

Couples had a tougher time, unsure of even an act like kissing.

 

You have brought great joy into the lives of your parents,

As you grow, you shall surely return their nurturing ways;

They are bringing you up with lots of love and care,

Your innocent smiles and hugs brightening their days.

 

May your intellect be always one up on that of Jeeves,

Your investigative skills as sharp as those of Baxter the efficient;

In culinary skills, may you surpass Anatole, in smartness, Psmith,

A heart that bleeds for its pals may also be sufficient.

 

 

When it comes to heartily gorging on your daily nourishment,

The Empress could already learn a few things from you;

As to keeping the enthusiasm of a big sister under check,

Clarence could imbibe you, proving worthy in his ancestors’ view.

 

Your crawling skills would soon evolve into brisk walking ones,

If ever you get besotted with a Hollywood diva in your pre-teen days,

Like Thos, you may walk six miles to fetch the Sporting Times for Bertie,

Aspiring to win the Good Conduct competition, winning Greta Garbo’s praise.

 

You shall grow to be like a Hercules with nerves of chilled steel,

With abundant milk of human kindness coursing through your veins;

Following the Code of the Woosters with alacrity and aplomb,

Handling overbearing aunts, using Esmond Haddock’s tact and brains.

 

You chose to be born on a very special day,

Resurrecting the spirit of Plum, of whom your grandmother is a fan;

May your own life be full of light, sweetness and joy,

As long as a benevolent and humorous sun keeps cheering up man.

 

 

(Master John Jasper happens to be the grandson of Lucy Smink, a fan of P G Wodehouse Down Under. This impromptu composition is addressed to him. Permission of the family to publish it here is gratefully acknowledged.)

(Related Posts: 

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2019/06/08/lord-emsworth-and-the-girl-friend-a-visual-version

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/10/23/my-dear-clarence

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/07/05/the-gallery-of-rogue-kids-in-plumsville

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/when-masters-thos-bonzo-and-moon-rise-in-love)

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Denizens of the Republic of Plumsville are cordially invited to attend the swearing-in ceremony of the new cabinet of its Federal Government.Blandings castle-enHon’ble President, Lord Emsworth (Clarence Threepwood, 9th Earl of Emsworth), would preside over the function. The Vice President, Mr. Chichester Clam, shall also grace the occasion.

The ceremony shall begin with the Hon’ble President raising the National Flag, to the accompaniment of a rendering of the National Anthem ‘Sonny Boy’ by Ms. Cora Bellinger.

The Hon’ble President, the Vice President and the incumbent Prime Minister shall thereafter garland the statue of Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, KBE, the Father of the Nation.

Oaths shall be administered by the Chief Justice of Plumsville, Sir Watkyn Bassett. Oaths shall be in the name of the Constitution of Plumsville, viz., The Code of the Woosters.

Here are the respective portfolios and the incumbents:

Prime Minister:

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Some residents of Plumsville might be interested in this news release from the Nordic branch of PBC, the Plum Broadcasting Corporation.

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It is a well documented fact that the epidemic of Wodehousitis peaks at two times in a year. One, around the 15th of October, the day on which P G Wodehouse was born. Two, around the 14th of February, the day he decided to start regaling his Guardian Angels instead.

This is not to say that the epidemic is dormant during the rest of the year. It merely subsides a wee bit, popping up here and there, irrespective of caste, creed, religion, sex or ethnicity.

The medical fraternity continues to be clueless as to how to contain the dreaded epidemic. Researchers of all hues continue to be baffled at the unique kind of drug resistance displayed by those who suffer from Wodehousitis – they exhibit no desire to be rid of the affliction.

It is learnt from reliable sources that residents of Plumsville, a euphimistic term deployed to identify those suffering from acute Wodehousitis, could go to any lengths to celebrate their shared suffering from the dreaded affliction. To them, cultural, linguistic and continental barriers do not count. Man-made boundaries do not matter.

Take the case of one Morten Anersen from Norway and one Ashok Bhatia from India. On the 15th of October, 2016, the two decided to put their nose bags together and meet up at the Little England Tea Rooms (LETR) at Vollen in Norway.

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It is understood that wide-ranging talks were held between the two on the occasion. The atmosphere was said to have been highly cordial and congenial. The couple running the show at LETR, Henning Edin Lyche and Liv Kjersti Lyche, when forewarned about the specific occasion being celebrated, revived the best of Drones Club traditions. British high tea was served with much enthusiasm and attention to detail.

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The talks are said to have covered the following topics:

  • BREXIT: Whether Wodehouse, had he been around these days, would have approved of Brexit. The conjecture of the duo was in the negative.
  • The Technological Twist: Would he have continued churning out juicy narratives, with his trademark old world charm, replete with eccentric lords, super-intelligent butlers, domineering aunts, goofy females, woolly-headed bachelors, romantic cops and kids who could motivate even vicars to aspire to higher levels of spiritual upliftment? Especially, in this age of technology and the Internet of Things? The guess was in the affirmative. Probably, at best, telegrams might have got replaced by WhatsApp messages and phone calls by Skype or Viber calls.
  • Of dyspepsia, class distinctions and scarabs: Some ever fresh lessons from ‘Something Fresh‘ came up for discussion. Larsen Exercises, brisk walks and cold baths and the need to have a digestive system which keeps firing at all twelve cylinders, were mentioned with much enthusiasm. The socio-economic divide between Aline Peters and Joan Valentine, inter alia, came under the duo’s lens. The correlation between being a millionaire and being a collector of scarabs was discussed.
  • Real People and Real Books: Many facets of Wodehouse’s personality were discussed. The fact that he modelled his characters based on real life people was mentioned. So was the fact that books like ‘Types of Ethical Theory‘, once used by Florence Craye to attempt to uplift the intellectual leanings of Bertie Wooster, really did exist.
  • The Nietzsche Taboo: Surprise was expressed at the fact that Friedrich Nietzsche, held to be basically unsound by a person no less than Jeeves, was also born on the 15th of October, though the year of his birth was 1844. There were mutual confessions that Jeeves’ word was taken rather seriously. Hence, no attempts were likely to be made to read up any of Nietzsche’s works.
  • No darts, please: Out of respect for the excellent interior design of LETR, as well as for several other customers present, plans to throw some darts were deferred.
  • Potential members: It was noted with much regret that such eminent members as Geir Hasnes, Jo Ingebrigt Spalder, Jens Magne Andreassen, Oystein Moe and others could not join in the festivities.
  • Of 2017: It was hoped that a meeting planned some time in either April or May 2017 would attract better attention of Plum fans based in various parts of Norway. A strong need was felt for a local Jeeves who would be able to spare some time and coordinate the affair.

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It is reliably learnt that Liv Kjersti Lyche, the delicately nurtured better-half of the owner of the place, a charming lady in the mould of Mrs Spottsworth, had spent some time during her teens in India, learning the art of dishing out piping hot samosas and chicken tikka sandwiches.

She also turned out to be a Plum fan, thereby adding some more sparkle and warmth to the proceedings. Another round of animated discussion is said to have followed, wherein ‘Laughing Gas‘ was merely one of the several works of Wodehouse which had popped up.

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The meeting is said to have generated much laughter and camaraderie and reconfirmed the presence of Wodehousitis in the Nordic country which already boasts of more than 40 works of Plum translated into Norwegian. It also set a precedent of sorts in terms of achieving Gender Diversity for the Drones Club.

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Vikings are believed to have had a stiff-upper-lip approach to life in the distant past. Gallows Humour is said to be a typical Scandinavian offering.

Folklore has it that the sense of humour of Indians also leaves much to be desired. If it has been there, perhaps it has been more of the loud and overt kind.

But goofy gatherings of the kind reported herein above indicate that those inhabiting Nordic and Asian regions of the world these days perhaps relish not only a chuckle or two but also a loud guffaw once in a while. Subtle humour of the Wodehousean kind appears to have gained currency in these regions.

One wonders if the Humour Quotient of Homo Sapiens tends to improve in tandem with their gradual evolution over a period of time. If so, sunnier days are ahead. Further research by anthropologists and historians is strongly recommended to validate this hypothesis.

The global per capita density of the epidemic of Wodehousitis also needs to be studied further.

(Related Posts:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/07/30/the-epidemic-of-wodehousitis

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/01/30/a-drones-club-meet-at-asker-in-norway

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/10/18/what-ho-what-ho)

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P G Wodehouse was born on the 15th of October, 1881. Every year, his fans celebrate his birth anniversary with traditional fervour and gaiety. This year was no exception.

Some went out and rummaged through book stores, virtual or otherwise, to buy yet another book of his. The idea was to try to fill in the gaping holes in their priceless collections. In keeping with the current trends, shelfies got clicked and shared over social media. Others simply curled up in bed and re-read for the n-th time a work of his, a tissue restorative on their side.

Some burrowed deep into his works and came up with some lesser known compositions of his. Some paid rich tributes by sharing other details about the author and his life. Yet others came up with juicy posts on the occasion.

Here are some of the posts the residents of Plumsville may relish, arranged in an alphabetic manner, as per their names.

Arunabha Sengupta
http://www.cricketcountry.com/articles/wodehouse-at-the-wicket-the-cricketing-connections-of-the-legendary-writer-18805

Honoria Glossop
https://honoriaplum.wordpress.com/2016/10/11/the-birth-of-p-g-wodehouse-and-sherlock-holmes

Morten Arnesen
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbiwROt0yL8

Ragini Sgh
BELATED BIRTHDAY WISHES, DEAR PGW

Ancestors,forefathers, the whole clan
Woven into an exquisite web with élan,

Romantic exploits or schemes absurd
Beautifully penned, enriched by each word,

Mundane chatter or complicated plots
Skillfully tied in bouquets of forget me nots,

Whether it’s Gussie or Lord Emsworth
Their anecdotes bring warmth like a crackling hearth,

Aunt Dahlia’s exuberance or Uncle Tom’s generosity
Can be matched by Gally’s wit or Jeeves’s spontaneity,

The maudlin soppy Madeline often a pain
Her tear drops beautifully knitted in God’s Daisy chain,

Bertie’s simplicity and sheer goofiness
Always landing him in an inextricable mess,

But the master wields his pen with panache and ease
Sailing along like a will O wisp in the breeze,

A belated Happy Birthday to the inimitable P.G.W !

Shiva Kumar
I HAD A PLUM TO-DAY

I got a book, it came as a gift,
It picked me up, gave me a lift.

I’ll immerse myself in every page,
Go back in time, to a happier age.

I find myself a cosy nook,
Sit back, open my book.

Page one produces a broad smile,
I move on to two, and ponder awhile;

Page three draws from me a snort,
Someone’s already plotting a plot!

They are scheming like the dickens;
As I turn the pages, the plot thickens.

This devious planning is making me laugh,
I shake in my chair and almost fall off.

There’s a chap and there’s his butler,
There’s a planner and a plan scuttler.

Aunts pop in, here and there
Embellishing the story, as it were.

Telegrams fly, to and fro, thick and fast
I am thinking this is too good, will it last?

Page fifty, and I’m wiping the tears,
I haven’t laughed so much in years.

Is it me, rumbling with mirth,
Or just a tremor in the earth?

The book’s a riot, too funny to handle,
It’s become dark, I will need a candle

Night has fallen; I too fell, many times
Picked myself up, ignored the chimes

I’ll finish the book, come what may
I’ll try not to fall off again, I’ll stay.

I’m chuckling away into the night
When I finish the book it’s first light

Ah! I can happily get back to the old grind
After all I had a Plum to elevate the mind!

As a part of the global celebrations, two Wodehousean fans, hailing from two different continents, decided to meet up for a cosy chat over high tea in a British style quaint little restaurant in Norway. But more about that later.

(Related Posts:

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/02/16/fondly-remembering-plum

https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2016/10/20/a-drones-club-meeting-at-vollen-in-Norway)

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What ho!

PGWodehouse

ashokbhatia

Just a week to go for the birthday celebrations,

Some of you must be concluding your Plummy deliberations;

Whipping up some juicy anecdotes and posts,

Which can be read with much glee by the party hosts.

With doors shut, the brain firing on all twelve cylinders,

Time perhaps to pen down the life’s goofy blunders;

Creative juices sloshing about, a tissue restorative by your side,

Between us bosom pals, there is never a thing to hide.

There are no contests to be entered into, nor any prizes to be won,

Either with your brain or with your heart, just pen down a juicy one;

The soft inner glow of happiness is all that you would require,

A rainbow of adulation around your shoulders you will surely acquire.

(Relates post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/an-invitation-for-the-residents-of-plumsville)

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first-birthday-cake

The Earth has turned for 365 days,

My kid brother has meanwhile grown in many ways;

He has experienced all the seasons,

To smile together we have many reasons!

 

His lungs are full of fresh Arctic air,

Yet to walk, he crawls with a flair;

Single words he only speaks now,

To take care of him, I am always in tow!

 

His eyes sparkle like a pair of twin stars,

His laughter is infectious, it never jars;

Playing tabla with a flourish he is learning fast,

The range of biscuits he eats is really vast!

 

In his life, the moon and the stars shall forever shine,

We shall travel together long, I and this brother of mine!

(Composed on behalf of a girl of seven years)

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Denizens of the Republic of Plumsville are cordially invited to attend the swearing-in ceremony of the new cabinet of its Federal Government.Blandings castle-enHon’ble President, Lord Emsworth (Clarence Threepwood, 9th Earl of Emsworth), would preside over the function. The Vice President, Mr. Chichester Clam, shall also grace the occasion.

The ceremony shall begin with the Hon’ble President raising the National Flag, to the accompaniment of a rendering of the National Anthem ‘Sonny Boy’ by Ms. Cora Bellinger.

The Hon’ble President, the Vice President and the incumbent Prime Minister shall thereafter garland the statue of Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, KBE, the Father of the Nation.

Oaths shall be administered by the Chief Justice of Plumsville, Sir Watkyn Bassett. Oaths shall be in the name of the Constitution of Plumsville, viz., The Code of the Woosters.

Here are the respective portfolios and the incumbents:

Prime Minister: Mr. Rupert Psmith (‘p’ is silent)

Commerce and Industry: Ms. Joan Valentine

Defence: Ms. Stephanie Byng

Entrepreneurship: Ms. Sally

Fashion Design: Sir Roderick Spode

Finance: Mr. Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge

Food Processing: Mr. Anatole

Health & Family Welfare: Mr. Ashe Marson

Home: Ms. Dahlia Travers

Human Resource/Education: Ms. Tomlinson

International Relations: Mr. Reginald Jeeves

Information & Broadcasting: Mr. Mulliner

Labour & Employment: Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle

Literature and Fine Arts: Ms. Rosie M. Banks

Matrimonial Bliss: Mr. Bingo Little

Milk of Human Kindness: Mr. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster

Net Neutrality: Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe

Parliamentary Affairs: Hon. Galahad Threepwood

Space and Atomic Energy: Ms. Madeline Bassett

Sports: Ms. Pauline Stoker

Taxation: Mr. Tom Travers

Terror Management: Ms. Roberta Wickham

Tissue Restoratives: Ms. Postlethwaite

Tourism: Ms. Angela Travers

Transport: Mr. Percy Craye, Earl of Worplesdon

Wildlife & Forests: Captain Cuthbert Gervase ‘Bwana’ Brabazon-Biggar

The swearing-in ceremony shall be followed by a short program, as follows:

Speech by Mr. Rupert Psmith

‘Meeting Millennium Development Goals: The Role of Humour in enhancing the Gross Happiness Index of countries’

 Brief talk by Ms. Stephanie Byng

‘Defending borders of countries with a dash of humour; The need to set up training academies in pinching helmets’

Presentation by Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle

‘Boosting employment prospects of youth by encouraging newt-rearing industry’

Brief talk by Mr. Bertram W. Wooster

‘Managing Immigrants in an increasingly globalized world – An Innovative Approach based on the Milk of Human Kindness’

Talk by Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe

‘Maintaining Net Neutrality by pinching servers and technocrats from neighbouring countries’

Address by Ms. Roberta Wickham

‘Using the hot-water-bottle puncturing strategy and other goofy schemes to neutralize terroristic endeavours’

Video presentation by Ms. Angela Travers

‘Promoting tourism by protecting sharks and whales’

A vaudeville performance by Aunt Julia and Joe Danby

A parody of the Market Snodsbury speech of Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle, delivered by Master Seabury

The President shall thereafter be pleased to have you with him and the newly inducted team at the lavish luncheon being planned by Monsieur Anatole, God’s gift to our gastric juices. He shall be assisted by the house staff, led by Mr. Sebastian Beach.

The event shall conclude with a Guard of Honour, led by Colonel Aubrey Wyvern, astride the high-bred Potato Chip.

Venue: Forecourt of Blandings Castle
Date: October 15, 2015
Time: 10:00 hours sharp

Notes:

1. Guests and invitees are hereby requested to take their seats by 09:45 hours.

2. Pets are strictly discouraged, lest they disturb the pre-lunch siesta of the Empress of Blandings. James Pirbright shall be in attendance. All the decent sheep and cattle shall be hustled away into regions unknown, so the ceremony may proceed without any interruption.

3. Cell phones and technical gizmos of all kinds shall need to be deposited with Constable Ernest Dobbs at the entrance.

4. For those who wish to take a guided tour of the magnificent gardens and the moss-covered yew alley, Mr. Angus McAllister shall be available after the conclusion of the ceremony.

RSVP: Secretary to the Hon’ble President: Rupert Baxter.

(Notes:

  1. Inputs received from avid fans of P G Wodehouse are gratefully acknowledged.
  2. You may also like to check out: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/politicos-in-plumsville-part-1)

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