Posts Tagged ‘Vidya Balan’

Inventors of the world need to quickly come up with a Poop Scoop which would work for humans. This would solve a messy problem which is driving governments all over the world a bit potty.

In third world countries, it is pretty common to find people defecating in the open. Any train passenger who has been Potty open-defecation-titleadventurous enough to peep out of his window while the train is entering an urban settlement in the morning hours would readily attest to the same.

The Great Public Loo

Ask any of the defecators and he would be quick to point out the benefits of open air ablutions – minimal irritation to the olfactory organs, a gentle breeze soothing the hind quarters and the pleasure of a comforting smoke without the imminent danger of a secondary inhalation by any of the co-defecators. A very environment friendly and socially sustainable practice, he would say.

Push him a wee bit more and he is bound to come out with yet another justification. Well-heeled passengers of railways are permitted to litter the tracks all across the length and breadth of the country with smelly abandon. They enjoy this liberty irrespective of whether the train is stationary or moving over vast tracts of land and rivers, pious or otherwise. If so, why should his tribe of open defecators alone be singled out and reprimanded?

A Potty Dawn

Come morning time and vast stretches all over the country witness the unusual spectacle of human droppings, putting Potty Roman Public Toiletsmany a bird and beast to shame. Early morning joggers have already perfected the art of dodging such excrescence, thereby saving their precious branded footwear from getting soiled.

In the bye-lanes of small towns, toddlers can be easily spotted relieving themselves just outside the main door of their palatial houses, thereby saving their parents the hassle of suffering from an Undue Potty Syndrome.

Marketing honchos of companies making diapers and plastic potty contraptions would do well to target this segment in their next promotional blitzkrieg.

A Gratitude towards Mother Earth

Those of the two-legged Homo-sapiens who are far away from home and hearth find the vacant stretches of land Potty Limbourg Belgiumabutting our swank new highways quite suitable for the purposes of fertilizing the soil. This is their way of expressing heart-felt gratitude towards Mother Earth.

In towns and market places, walls become an easy prey to such offerings, duly supported by the local civic authorities who ensure that our streets are poorly lit; if power is available, that is.

In most public spaces, denizens hardly need directions to the nearest rest room. Their keen sense of smell does not lead them astray. Their olfactory organs turn out to be better direction-finders than their GPS-enabled gizmos.

In many countries, democracy is taken pretty seriously. Quadrupeds of all sizes and shapes – whether bovine, canine, feline, or of any other kind – also believe that they have equal rights on public spaces. Since their lives invariably run as per the solar clock, they exercise their rights at any time of the day.

Bollywood Beats

Bollywood is not far behind in promoting the practice of open air urination and defecation. Showing a bunch of boys Potty Ishqiyarelieving themselves in an open space is no longer a taboo.

One of the protagonists in a recent flick (the inimitable Naseeruddin Shah in a particular scene in ‘Ishqia’) waxes eloquent over the sheer bliss of resorting to this ‘environment friendly’ practice.

However, there is some consolation that the heroine (Vidya Balan) subsequently supported a campaign by the Ministry of Sanitation and Rural Development of Government of India to promote an extensive drive towards toilet building.

Petty and Potty Problems

As we celebrate yet another World Toilet Day today (on the 19th of November), one hopes that the coming days would see a better focus on resolving this predicament of our modern lives.

Manufacturers of all kinds of sanitary products can pitch in and tackle this issue. Technocrats and scientists who are busy exploring the universe can come up with scoops designed to handle excreta of all hues and shapes.

Social scientists who keep discussing inane matters on our TV screens ad nauseam can plan for campaigns which are directed towards changing the mindset and attitudes of our citizens.

Movie directors can weave in clear messages denouncing the practice of open defecation in their future projects. Potty Vidya-BalanMayors of our cities can raise pig squads which would hopefully ensure that our streets are squeaky clean.

Politicians of all hues can stop wasting their energies in running down each other and highlighting petty problems; instead, they can address potty problems.

Mind over Matter  

The fact that we have more phones and TV sets than toilets goes on to show that, as a civilization, we accord a higher priority to matters of the mind than to those of the material body.

We are perhaps heading towards the next step of our human evolution into a species which would be far better endowed in terms of its intellectual capabilities!

(Related post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2013/04/09/the-monkey-business-in-india)

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The Bollywood awards season in 2012 is finally over! Every year, it is a good time to analyse and wonder at the direction Hindi cinema is taking. At a time when there are raging debates about gagging obscene content on social networking sites, cinema – a powerful medium in the society – appears to be getting away with a great deal of sleaze. With each passing year, it has pushed the frontiers of obscenity further and wider. Hemlines are only getting pushed northwards, and so are the box office collections!

Cinematic content these days has made a self-professed movie buff like me rather immune to all the dare-to-bare acts. One only gets a feeling of contempt and disgust. Show of skin has become a necessary evil, the language has become expletive-laden and the lyrics somewhat soul-less, provided of course one is able to hear them over the cacophony of sounds touted as music these days!

It is perhaps a sign of our times that the most obscenely crafted and inane movies end up collecting major awards. It is surprising to see movies like “Ishqia”, “Rockstar” and “The Dirty Picture” winning all kinds of accolades and awards (even National!) without any consideration to the sense and sensibility of the contents for the masses. Titillation leading to commercial success is surely the name of the game today; art can always take a back seat!

This is not to belittle the artistes who do a commendable job and bring complex characters to life on the screen. It is the content and Movie Mughal-e-Azamthe overt manner of presentation that leaves one yearning for some cultural decency. My mind goes back to that eternal classic “Mughal-e-Azam”. We have Dilip Kumar and Madhubala romancing in the royal gardens late at night, with Bade Ghulam Ali Khan Saheb singing in the background. Just a gentle swish of the feather across Madhubala’s beautiful face, and my heart still races up. There is no touch of vulgarity or obscenity of any kind; just an artistic expression of the romance, leaving much to the viewers’ imagination.

Think of another classic: “Guide”. It is still a pleasure to see Dev Anand and Waheeda Rehman enacting their roles with much aplomb on the screen. The songs are as mellifluous as ever, the dialogues as evergreen as Dev sahib himself was, the music soothing to the ears and the lyrics pregnant with meaning. Towards the end of a romantic song, “Gata rahe mera dil….”, the camera pans out, leaving the hero and the heroine alone in their moment of solitude and privacy. A subtle depiction of romance, to say the least.

In “Sholay”, the delicate relationship between Amitabh and Jaya is captured with sensitivity, without the need for even a single dialogue, let alone any physical contact. Smita Patil’s portrayal of a hapless and exploited actress in “Bhumika” came as a whiff of fresh air then.

However, in 1970s and 80s, with the success of movies like “Bobby” and “Ram Teri Ganga Maili”, display of flesh perhaps became an essential ingredient of success in Hindi cinema.

During the 1990s, we became even more liberal. “Dil” legitimized the threat of rape, whereas “Hum” eulogized the desirability of kissing in public. We saw an Urmila Matondkar swaying to orgasmic beats in “Rangeela” and lesbianism being brought out in the open in “Fire”.

Cut to the next decade. We saw “Kal Ho Na Ho” coming up with a homosexuality based comic sequence between the two Khans – Shahrukh and Saif. The envelope was pushed further in “Dostana” a couple of years later, with Abhishek and John Abraham being made to smooch in public with gay abandon.

If a Rani Mukherjee astounded us with expletive laden dialogues in “No One Killed Jessica”, Vidya Balan went a step further while Movie The_Dirty_Picture2mouthing obscenities in “Ishqia” and “The Dirty Picture”.

Meaningful lyrics in mainstream cinema also got drowned in metallic orchestras quite some time back. While watching “Rockstar”, I was wondering as to when lyrics would also be shown as sub-titles on the screen! Contrast this with “Masoom” and “Prem Pujari”, where we were treated with soulful poetry on celluloid.

These days, we seldom appear to have the luxury of either soothing music or good lyrics.  Market dynamics demands that the hero and the heroine should necessarily be shown in bed, in close embrace, with suggestive gestures and movements. May be, twenty years down the road, XXX rated films would be shown under a U/A certificate!

(Related Post: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2014/01/01/women-through-the-bollywood-lens-part-1-of-2)

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