Looking for a Plummy soul mate

ashokbhatia

Here is what my dream soul mate would sound like,
He may or may not be tall, dark and handsome;
While handling Life’s harsh slings and arrows,
I merely expect the young prune to be agile and lissome.

A blighter like Gussie Fink Nottle would surely not do,
A newt fancier and a teetotaler is bound to leave me cold;
A chappie like Freddie Threepwood would also put me off,
Someone like Spode I would stoutly detest, truth be told.

A lack of interest on my part in flowers, pumpkins and sows,
Rules out any dalliance with the ninth Earl of Emsworth;
A rugged and handsome Esmond Haddock may make the cut,
But his domineering aunts would vitiate matrimonial mirth.

Having a whack at any bloke’s millions is not my idea of fun,
An abundance of the milk of human kindness would do;
His frequent visits to an all-men’s club…

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An illusory search for the perfect soul-mate: Bollywood style

ashokbhatia

Many amongst us chug along in life somewhat dissatisfied with our life partners. A neighbour’s wife always looks smarter. A friend’s husband sounds more dashing and practical. Our own spouse invariably sounds duller and listless in comparison. We are never quite satisfied with what we have. We often yearn for what we do not have.

What do we expect from a soul-mate? An unqualified acceptance by the party of the other part, perhaps? A companionship which comforts and soothes? A fulfillment of some of our basic needs?

At a deeper level, the illusory search for a perfect soul-mate, The One, begins with a realization that we cannot become more perfect all by ourselves. We need another person’s help to chisel ourselves better. To do so, we search for a person who is perfect in more ways than one.

Some Bollywood movies have dealt with this aspect of our relationships…

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Looking for a Plummy soul mate

Here is what my dream soul mate would sound like,
He may or may not be tall, dark and handsome;
While handling Life’s harsh slings and arrows,
I merely expect the young prune to be agile and lissome.

A blighter like Gussie Fink Nottle would surely not do,
A newt fancier and a teetotaler is bound to leave me cold;
A chappie like Freddie Threepwood would also put me off,
Someone like Spode I would stoutly detest, truth be told.

A lack of interest on my part in flowers, pumpkins and sows,
Rules out any dalliance with the ninth Earl of Emsworth;
A rugged and handsome Esmond Haddock may make the cut,
But his domineering aunts would vitiate matrimonial mirth.

Having a whack at any bloke’s millions is not my idea of fun,
An abundance of the milk of human kindness would do;
His frequent visits to an all-men’s club would be fine,
Enabling the embers of romance to act longer like a glue.

I would not expect him to open doors for me,
Nor hold any chair I may decide to use;
Such notions of chivalry are already outdated,
I can open jam cans myself and even mend a fuse.

He should pay heed to the needs of our times,
Believe in meaningful notions of chivalry instead;
Be a loving, loyal and devoted soul mate,
Helping with such household chores as making a bed.

Like Bingo Little, baby sitting should be his forte,
Not sulking when I invite over a friend of mine;
Ensuring that never do I miss my afternoon cup of tea,
Cosying up to me near the fireplace over a glass of wine.

As to tackling life’s myriad problems and challenges,
May he be like Jeeves, armed with superior intelligence;
Handling visiting aunts and distant cousins with aplomb,
Displaying a feudal spirit, resolving issues with elegance.

Let him be a dasher along the lines of someone like Psmith,
Handling life with perseverance, alacrity and grace;
Spreading love while riding the pale parabolas of joy,
Neutralizing mischief mongers without losing his own face.

Someone like Ashe Marson could also qualify,
Dishing out whodunits lapped up by the masses;
Open to adventurous escapades involving scarabs,
Handling his bosses well, conducting fitness classes.

Hitching my lot to someone like Galahad could be considered,
His gallantry is legendary, so is his wit and charm;
Oh, life would be real fun being with a person like him,
Things would be easier while I hold on to his arm.

I would not even mind a good pal like Bertie as a soul mate,
Whose heart would forever remain coated with gold;
Wrapping him around my dainty fingers would be easy,
Nice to have someone around whose intellect I could mould.

To have shades of all these coves in a single chap
Would be well-nigh difficult, truly an overwhelming task;
May be someone amongst you would refer a suitable blighter,
So I don’t have to walk down the aisle with a smiling mask.

Let the chappie at least be a true fan of P G Wodehouse,
So the progeny is assured of a great sense of humour;
Basking in the sunlit brilliance of the Master’s works,
Going through life with its chins up, wearing a blissful armour.

 

(Notes:

1. A crisper version of this composition appears in ‘Wooster Sauce’, The Quarterly Journal of the P G Wodehouse Society (UK), in Issue Number 89, March 2019. 
2. This post is inspired by
   https://honoriaplum.wordpress.com/2013/06/29/wodehouse-desirable-men
3. Related posts: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2017/11/05/a-plummy-wish-for-a-bride-to-be, https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2017/12/02/the-need-to-look-for-plummy-soul-mates
   
4. Illustration courtesy www)

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An illusory search for the perfect soul-mate: Bollywood style

Many amongst us chug along in life somewhat dissatisfied with our life partners. A neighbour’s wife always looks smarter. A friend’s husband sounds more dashing and practical. Our own spouse invariably sounds duller and listless in comparison. We are never quite satisfied with what we have. We often yearn for what we do not have.

What do we expect from a soul-mate? An unqualified acceptance by the party of the other part, perhaps? A companionship which comforts and soothes? A fulfillment of some of our basic needs?

At a deeper level, the illusory search for a perfect soul-mate, The One, begins with a realization that we cannot become more perfect all by ourselves. We need another person’s help to chisel ourselves better. To do so, we search for a person who is perfect in more ways than one.

Some Bollywood movies have dealt with this aspect of our relationships in a poignant manner. Here is a quick recapitulation of some such offerings which come to one’s mind.

Navrang

(1959, V. Shantaram)

A poet struggling for recognition starts fantasizing about a dancing diva cast in the mould of his own wife. Whereas the wife is busy with mundane affairs of life, the poet is happy to remain in an imaginary world inhabited by the make-believe seductress. The harsh slings and arrows of life eventually make him realize his folly and accept his wife whole-heartedly.

Satyam Shivam Sundaram

(1978, Raj Kapoor)

A young engineer who abhors ugliness falls in love with a vivacious young woman whose face is partially scarred. Besotted by her mellifluous voice and religiosity, he does not notice her facial disfigurement and marries her. Rejected by her husband, the woman keeps meeting him at nights, making him believe that he is spending time with a mistress instead. Eventually, events make him realize his folly. He gives up his shallow perception of beauty and understands the value of inner beauty in life.

Maya Memsaab

(1993, Ketan Mehta)

Based on Gustave Flaubert’s ‘Madame Bovary’, the film captures the quest of a perfect mate by a young, beautiful and intelligent woman. After a failed marriage with a busy doctor, affairs follow. Her search for The One remains elusive. She remains dissatisfied and eventually dies.

Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

(2008, Aditya Chopra)

A diffident and introverted male ends up marrying a beautiful and vivacious young woman who claims her inability to love him. She loves the dashing heroes of Bollywood and enters a dancing competition, where she runs into a breezy character who is none other than her husband, duly remodeled by a friend of his. Romance blossoms. Eventually, she realizes the value of true love that her otherwise boring husband possesses for her.

7 Khoon Maaf

(2011, Vishal Bhardwaj)

The film narrates the story of an Anglo-Indian woman who murders her seven husbands in an unending quest for love. Eventually, she finds true love and solace in Jesus – at Pondicherry. It is based on a short story by Ruskin Bond: “Susanna’s Seven Husbands”.

All these movies portray an important facet of life. Our quest for The One is all about the search for our own true self. The desire to search for a mate is not about finding the right person. It is about becoming the right person.

A perfect spouse cannot make us complete. He/she can only help us in discovering ourselves and in becoming the right person. The partners only supplement each other’s strengths and weaknesses and tackle the challenges of life together, as a team.

This realization is a humble new beginning and a part of our own process of perfection; our evolution to a higher plane of consciousness.

PS: If you liked this post, you may perhaps also like https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2014/02/13/a-mature-shade-of-love-in-movies.

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