Posts Tagged ‘New Year Wishes’

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to you, my friends, but it is so difficult in today’s world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyers yesterday, and on their advice I wish to say the following to you my dear friends.

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

“I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2022, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great (not to imply that India is necessarily greater than any other country) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes.

“By accepting this greeting from me, the Wisher, you, the Wishee, are accepting these terms:
– This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
– It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
– It implies no promise by the Wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the Wisher.
– This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the Wisher.”


  1. No trees were harmed in the sending of this message.
  2. However, a significant number of electrons were slightly inconvenienced. The Wisher hereby offers an unconditional apology to them.
  3. The Wisher hereby asserts that he does not represent the commercial interests of either any of the IT service providers or social media platforms who have enabled the transmission of this message to the Wishee.
  4. The Wisher hereby confesses that this message is shamelessly picked up by him from the FB page of Mr. Rahul Nandkeolyar. For any legal clarifications, the Wishee is hereby advised to contact him directly.
  5. Image courtesy Pinterest.

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