Denizens of the Republic of Plumsville are cordially invited to attend the swearing-in ceremony of the new cabinet of its Federal Government.
Hon’ble President, Lord Emsworth (Clarence Threepwood, 9th Earl of Emsworth), would preside over the function. The Vice President, Mr. Chichester Clam, shall also grace the occasion.
The ceremony shall begin with the Hon’ble President raising the National Flag, to the accompaniment of a rendering of the National Anthem ‘Sonny Boy’ by Ms. Cora Bellinger.
The Hon’ble President, the Vice President and the incumbent Prime Minister shall thereafter garland the statue of Sir Pelham Grenville Wodehouse, KBE, the Father of the Nation.
Oaths shall be administered by the Chief Justice of Plumsville, Sir Watkyn Bassett. Oaths shall be in the name of the Constitution of Plumsville, viz., The Code of the Woosters.
Here are the respective portfolios and the incumbents:
Prime Minister: Mr. Rupert Psmith (‘p’ is silent)
Commerce and Industry: Ms. Joan Valentine
Defence: Ms. Stephanie Byng
Entrepreneurship: Ms. Sally
Fashion Design: Sir Roderick Spode
Finance: Mr. Stanley Featherstonehaugh Ukridge
Food Processing: Mr. Anatole
Health & Family Welfare: Mr. Ashe Marson
Home: Ms. Dahlia Travers
Human Resource/Education: Ms. Tomlinson
International Relations: Mr. Reginald Jeeves
Information & Broadcasting: Mr. Mulliner
Labour & Employment: Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle
Literature and Fine Arts: Ms. Rosie M. Banks
Matrimonial Bliss: Mr. Bingo Little
Milk of Human Kindness: Mr. Bertram Wilberforce Wooster
Net Neutrality: Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe
Parliamentary Affairs: Hon. Galahad Threepwood
Space and Atomic Energy: Ms. Madeline Bassett
Sports: Ms. Pauline Stoker
Taxation: Mr. Tom Travers
Terror Management: Ms. Roberta Wickham
Tissue Restoratives: Ms. Postlethwaite
Tourism: Ms. Angela Travers
Transport: Mr. Percy Craye, Earl of Worplesdon
Wildlife & Forests: Captain Cuthbert Gervase ‘Bwana’ Brabazon-Biggar
The swearing-in ceremony shall be followed by a short program, as follows:
Speech by Mr. Rupert Psmith
‘Meeting Millennium Development Goals: The Role of Humour in enhancing the Gross Happiness Index of countries’
Brief talk by Ms. Stephanie Byng
‘Defending borders of countries with a dash of humour; The need to set up training academies in pinching helmets’
Presentation by Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle
‘Boosting employment prospects of youth by encouraging newt-rearing industry’
Brief talk by Mr. Bertram W. Wooster
‘Managing Immigrants in an increasingly globalized world – An Innovative Approach based on the Milk of Human Kindness’
Talk by Sir Gregory Parsloe-Parsloe
‘Maintaining Net Neutrality by pinching servers and technocrats from neighbouring countries’
Address by Ms. Roberta Wickham
‘Using the hot-water-bottle puncturing strategy and other goofy schemes to neutralize terroristic endeavours’
Video presentation by Ms. Angela Travers
‘Promoting tourism by protecting sharks and whales’
A vaudeville performance by Aunt Julia and Joe Danby
A parody of the Market Snodsbury speech of Mr. Gussie Fink-Nottle, delivered by Master Seabury
The President shall thereafter be pleased to have you with him and the newly inducted team at the lavish luncheon being planned by Monsieur Anatole, God’s gift to our gastric juices. He shall be assisted by the house staff, led by Mr. Sebastian Beach.
The event shall conclude with a Guard of Honour, led by Colonel Aubrey Wyvern, astride the high-bred Potato Chip.
Venue: Forecourt of Blandings Castle
Date: October 15, 2015
Time: 10:00 hours sharp
Notes:
1. Guests and invitees are hereby requested to take their seats by 09:45 hours.
2. Pets are strictly discouraged, lest they disturb the pre-lunch siesta of the Empress of Blandings. James Pirbright shall be in attendance. All the decent sheep and cattle shall be hustled away into regions unknown, so the ceremony may proceed without any interruption.
3. Cell phones and technical gizmos of all kinds shall need to be deposited with Constable Ernest Dobbs at the entrance.
4. For those who wish to take a guided tour of the magnificent gardens and the moss-covered yew alley, Mr. Angus McAllister shall be available after the conclusion of the ceremony.
RSVP: Secretary to the Hon’ble President: Rupert Baxter.
(Notes:
- Inputs received from avid fans of P G Wodehouse are gratefully acknowledged.
- You may also like to check out: https://ashokbhatia.wordpress.com/2015/10/10/politicos-in-plumsville-part-1)
ashokbhatia 
Capital!capital!capital!
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Look forward to seeing you there!
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🙂 I will Aunt Agatha is a universal favorite ancestor.
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Wonder if there is any portfolio left which might suit her.The Ministry of Broken Bottles would not work out,because then she herself cannot be found feasting on the same. Charges of corruption would be made. Perhaps, Ministry of Juvenile Homes? If she can bring up someone like Thos, she would surely be able to do justice to a reformist role in the new government?
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A brilliant cabinet. All aspects needed to run the state of Blandings have been taken care of.I would have liked the internal discipline to be given to Lady Constance. Butno matter. I accept the invitation and look forward to it.
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I am sure the Hon’ble PM would take care of your observation in the next round of reshuffle.
Look forward to seeing you there!
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Love the portfolios.. 😀
I have a feeling the President is going to turn up in his old tweed jacket.. 😛
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Perhaps in a top hat, with a starched collar and studs, thanks to the hawk-like vigil of Constance?!
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Nooo, please let Connie stay back in America.. 😛
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Hmmm….juicy idea. Would liven up the proceedings no end!
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Also throw in a couple of impostors into the mix.. 😀
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With green beards, perhaps?!
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Yes..and named Messmore Breamworthy, or Major Brabazon-Plank.. 😀
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Brilliant post! I wonder if the nightmare hound that is Bartholomew might also earn a welcome place alongside Ms. Byng in the Defence department.
However, Tom Travers, in charge of taxation? Do we really want such low rates? The flat tax will be implemented permanently! Also won’t the stress cause more permanent damage to his digestion, as frail as it is already? To be fair I can see Jeeves taking over a great deal of the roles (for the others) by the end of the first parliament.
May I reblog this excellent piece?
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Thank you.
I guess Stiffy does have plans of raising a special canine battalion, headed by Bartholomew. Besides sniffing IEDs, they would specialize in making the enemies of the state wilt simply by glowering at them with their superlicious gazes.
Uncle Tom’s idea perhaps would be to widen the tax net by improving the compliance levels and shoring up revenues in the process. I am sure the Food Minister would keep his gastric juices in a benevolent mood.
Yes, the possibility of Jeeves getting promoted to a Deputy PM level is rather strong.
Do please spread the word around.
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Reblogged this on Plumtopia and commented:
How have you been celebrating PG Wodehouse’s birthday? I’ve been sipping snifters at this high class binge, over at Ashok Bhatia’s blog. Would have shared it with you earlier, but I was unavoidably detained by the beak at Bosher Street after taking a perfectly innocent dip in the Trafalgar Square fountain at about 3am (not a newt in sight). Luckily I had the presence of mind to tell them I was Virginia Woolf.
A bit of an ordeal, to be sure, but a fitting way to celebrate the birth P.G. Wodehouse. Cheers, all!
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Thanks for the honour, Honoria!
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Reblogged this on Thus Spoke Saxo Ungrammaticus and commented:
It gives me great pleasure to be able to share this excellent piece from Ashok Bhatia’s blog.
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Reblogged this on ashokbhatia.
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Aunt Agatha would be the Chief Whip. No room for Uncle Fred, or would he be Permanent Head of the Department of Excesses (I don’t know if you know the term). I am dismayed, however, at downgrading Plumsville to a republic. All those centuries of keeping one’s head down at Agincourt and sending bishops to Bongo Bongo swept away. I regret having not seen this two years ago, or if I did I’d forgotten, which is equally regrettable. PS: My grandson Clarence will be a year old on 15 Oct — two reasons to raise a glass, and reread Ashok’s poem to him. Cheers
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In his next round of cabinet reshuffle, perhaps the Hon’ble PM would consider these juicy suggestions.
As to the republic part, you may need to exercise the grey cells a bit more and come up with a ‘White Paper’ which the bigwigs might look at.
Poor Clarence. Let us spare him the trauma for some time!
Advance wishes for his first birthday.
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Long live the Republic! I thought Honoria Glossop would deserve a portfolio – physical fitness, perhaps?
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Perhaps, they might do so in the next cabinet reshuffle!
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The day itself is thought out with care and the itinerary too. Rather like Plum’s work.
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Thank you, sir.
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