In the post-matrimony phase, we find Bingo Little to be a devoted husband. Maintaining matrimonial peace and harmony is the sole purpose of his life. When it comes to keeping his lady-love happy and contented, there is little that he leaves to chance.
If a childhood friend has to be persuaded to soften up an uncle, he does it. If having the same friend being held to be a looney helps him to make the dove of peace flap its sonorous wings over his abode, he does not hesitate.
If a cook of the stature of Anatole has to be sacrificed to ensure that his social reputation does not nosedive, so be it.
In Jeeves and the Impending Doom (Very Good, Jeeves), we find him struggling hard to earn his subsistence by tutoring a despicable kid like Thos. He has to ensure that he is not discovered to be a pal of Bertie. He has to also ensure that the kid’s misdemeanours do not get reported to his mother.
Bingo shares his predicament
When Bertie runs into Bingo at Woollam Chersey, he is exhorted to behave like a perfect stranger.
The letter ‘was to tell you that I was down here tutoring your Cousin Thomas, and that it was essential that, when we met, you should treat me as a perfect stranger.’
‘But why?’
Bingo raised his eyebrows.
‘Why? Be reasonable, Bertie. If you were your aunt, and you knew the sort of chap you were, would you let a fellow you knew to be your best pal tutor your son?’
Eventually, the mystery unfolds thus.
‘I will also now reveal why I am staying in this pest-house, tutoring a kid who requires not education in the Greek and Latin languages but a swift slosh on the base of the skull with a black-jack. I came here, Bertie, because it was the only thing I could do. At the last moment before she sailed to America, Rosie decided that I had better stay behind and look after the Peke. She left me a couple of hundred quid to see me through till her return. This sum, judiciously expended over the period of her absence, would have been enough to keep Peke and self in moderate affluence. But you know how it is.’
Odd women and an angry swan
What poor Bingo regarded as a cautious and conservative investment came unstuck. The horse in question came in last, making him blow up the entire allowance in a single go. He has had to find the means of keeping his body and soul together till Rosie’s return, so she does not discover what has occurred.
‘Rosie is the dearest girl in the world; but if you were a married man, Bertie, you would be aware that the best of wives are apt to cut up rough if she finds that her husband has dropped six weeks’ housekeeping money on a single race. Isn’t that so, Jeeves?’
‘Yes, sir. Women are odd in that respect.’
Eventually, Mr Filmer, the Cabinet Minister, faces retribution for having reported Thos smoking in the shrubbery. On a rainy day, he is made to get stranded on an island, facing a swan which has taken serious offence at its family having been disturbed.
Even after he has been rescued, Mr Filmer keeps wondering if Thos was the one who had set his boat adrift. Jeeves manages to shift the burden of this misdemeanour on to Bertie. This saves Bertie from being considered for the position of Mr Filmer’s private secretary, an unagreeable prospect. However, he has to slide down a pipe to avoid an unpleasant confrontation with Aunt Agatha.
Little Bingo ends up retaining his tutoring assignment, thereby securing matrimonial peace. To him, sacrificing a bosom pal’s social reputation for the sake of having peace at home is a worthy trade-off in life.
A rare beauty in Bertie’s nature
Some of us could wonder as to why Bertie keeps helping Little Bingo from time to time. All of us know that he is an ardent follower of The Code of the Woosters. The extent to which he goes out of his way to help his pals, sublimating his own ego, is truly amazing. This is a point which he himself attempts to clarify in yet another narrative, entitled Comrade Bingo (The Inimitable Jeeves):
‘I don’t know why, ever since I first knew him at school, I should have felt a rummy feeling of responsibility for young Bingo. I mean to say, he’s not my son (thank goodness) or my brother or anything like that. He’s got absolutely no claim on me at all, and yet a large-sized chunk of my existence seems to be spent in fussing over him like a bally old hen and hauling him out of the soup. I suppose it must be some rare beauty in my nature or something.’
Friends like Bertie Wooster certainly make our lives sweeter and simpler!
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Very well written, as always.
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Glad you liked it!
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Deeply thought out and powerfully articulated…
Lovely post!!!
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Many thanks, Nihar ji.
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Always love to read your powerful topics…though provoking.
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Another ripping post! I love this story, with Bertie being saved from the clutches of a cabinet minister instead of the usual unsuitable female.
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Thanks, Honoria. The idea of Bertie being a secretary is uproariously funny. Aunt Agatha must be given credit for her innovative approach to reforming our hapless hero!
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Her hopes can not have been high, surely
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Bingo was born under a lucky star. With a friend like Bertie and an advisor like Jeeves, he is rescued time and again from the soup he seems to fall into.
In the stories of Wooster and Jeeves,we are made to realize, just how much Bingo Little is responsible for the entertainment through these posts. t
We have to thank Mr. Bhatia for pointing this out to us.
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True; he keeps running into financial tangles and invariably comes up with some innovative way to get untangled – tutoring despicable kids, squeezing the Godfather of his son – Oofy, etc.
Thank you for your kind words.
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Reblogged this on ashokbhatia.
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